Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Married Life: Exactly what you would expect


So I realized I haven't updated in awhile and I'm sorry to say the problem is I'm too happy. I find when my life is going well I don't really want to write anything. I just don't have material to vent about when I am happy. I realize saying this makes me super obnoxious and I don't blame all of you for wanting to smack me in the face right now.

That being said, iMac and I have been married for a year. A fucking year! Do you believe that? I kind of don't. I didn't expect us to survive the year without one of us committing homicide, and yet somehow we managed.




Now I don't claim to be an expert in marriage, or much of anything else to be honest, but here are just a few things I learned in the first year of marriage.

1. It's pretty much the same as it was before - I know people talk about the first year of marriage being amazing, but iMac and I were living together before we got married. So its pretty much been the same as it was before, except now when he makes me mad I can tell him I am taking half in the divorce.

2. Sleeping medicine is the best thing ever- not that I have any trouble falling asleep, but iMac does. Zyquill keeps him asleep so long that he keeps him from getting pokey at 6 am, allowing me an extra hour of sleep in the morning.

This is how I feel at 6 am when the hubby wakes me up...

3. Invest in a King size bed- Seriously, best thing iMac and I ever did. iMac still takes up half my side of the bed, but when I manage to get him off me its like having a bed to myself.

4. Date night will become weird- Before date night was dinner and a movie, or going out bowling. Now date night is watching iMac make bread or gnocchi. On occasion, I get to torture him with a movie made before 1982 while he gets drunk on the couch bitching about how bad old movies are.

5. You stop pretending to like things-  Before iMac would at least pretend to like the same tv shows I did, now I can't get him to suffer through half an episode of The Musketeers before hi makes sad sighing noises and puppy dog-eyes for his computer. On the flip side, I don't play computer games anymore so that he can count it as "bonding."

So for those of you who have survived more than one year of marriage, what do I have to look forward to in year 2?
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