Monday, November 17, 2014

SMM: Apparently We Can All Come and Go By Bubble

Previously: Usagi's hair magically grew a million inches overnight and

Episode 10: Moon

So we open back on Luna's insane plan to go to the moon because physics and logics and shit don't matter. Anime makes no sense remember? She says they should depart on the next full moon and then we get a whole lot of education information about the moon because why not.

The team watches as Usagi plays the Sailor V video game and they are all "whew she's finished crying every three seconds over Mamoru." 

~* Shiny Makeup Moonlight Song*~

The next morning, Usagi's parents have doughnuts and her dad gives her back the Legendary Silver Crystal. He asks if her boyfriend gave her that and like any good dad, freaks out when she says yes. Watching this scene all I can think is how did a woman with purple hair and a dad with black hair  manage to have two blond children? Genetics do not work this way.

Its nighttime now and the Sailor Scouts are at the park waiting to go to the moon since the best time to go is during a full moon. They say its the white light of the moon that gives them energy and Usagi flashes back to meeting Mamoru in the park and starts missing him again. Then Luna looks like she has to fart real badly, a bunch of bubbles come out of the water and they transform into scouts.

The girls hold hands and magic bubble themselves to the moon because this shit doesn't have to make sense right? Technically they are all aliens, so sure they can breath with no oxygen and go to the moon.

The get on the moon and see the ruins of the Silver Millennium and where the castle used to be. Luna realizes they are in the middle of the prayer room and then we have a sword in the stone reference. All the scouts take turns pulling it out of the rock, but eventually its Venus that man-handles that word and yanks it out of the rock like a badass.

We have a voiceover and glowy light that eventually becomes Queen Serenity, who thanks Luna for bringing them. I love this scene because Queen Serenity is like a tiny hologram fairy and it totally reminds me of Star Wars. Also how fucked up is it that she is Queen Serenity and Usagi is Princess Serenity? Who names their child after themselves. So egotistical.

Queen Serenity goes on about how Princess Serenity loved Earth because it was so green and she loved the wind. Bitch, who likes the wind? All it does is ruin my hair. Moving on, we have flashbacks of Serenity and Endymion falling in love and then we can see the Silver Millennium how it used to be. The Scouts totally bust the Princess chops about going to Earth all the time. Then its yet another flashback to the war, Queen Beryl, Endymion dying but this time we see Princess Serenity consumed with grief commit seppuku (death by shoving a samuri sword through your stomach) to which iMac went "no fricken way would a 13 year old girl do that" and I called it a bad Romeo and Juliet knock-off.

Anyways Queen Serenity uses the Legendary Silver Crystal to lock them all away and send them to Earth to be reborn, after locking Queen Metallica away. Earth was destroyed and had to start over and the scouts were reborn to harness the true power of the crystal and destroy the great evil. 

They tell the Queen that the Crystal is all jacked up because it went into Tuxedo Mask's body and hasn't been bright and shiny since then. The Queen says it did that because Usagi really wanted to save him and that she's sure he is alive. I like this; the long-dead queen tells her reborn Earth Daughter that her reborn true love is alive because of a Crystal. Are you kidding me? Why would anyone believe her? It manages to make Usagi feel better thought and that's all that matters.

We then have some touchy feely moments of the Queen trying to make her daughter feel better and telling the scouts to protect her before they head back to earth in their magical golden bubble. Who travels by bubble?

Back in the dark underground winter hell, the four pretty boys of the apocalypse are watching as Queen Beryl descends down the staircase to meet Queen M. Being the nosy boys they are, they follow her where they watch as Queen Beryl tells Queen M that they cannot find the Crystal. Queen M says to get rid of Tuxedo Mask then but Beryl has other plans and I'm pretty sure they involve raping Tuxedo Mask's rocking anime bod.

Queen M then demands more energy and Queen B is all like I can do that with my four idiot pretty boys who don't remember that I brainwashed them. Of course upon hearing this news the four pretty boys regain all their memories, because plot convenience. We see a flashback of the four pretty boys pledging their allegiance to Endymion and how they were reborn to protect their master. Queen Beryl walks in on this happening, calls them all pawns and then re-brain washes them because these boys are so simple-minded. She tells them to get rid of the Princess and get her that Crystal! 

Back in the underground Arcade Bat-lair, the scouts are checking out he thermal reactions around the north pole, because thats what all 13 year old girls do. The realize this has to be where Queen Beryl is hiding, but alas the bad guys have turned Toyko into the North Pole to steal their energy.

The scouts rush to stop them and Sailor Moon demands Tuxedo Mask back, to which Kunzite counters with "you can have his corpse." They start to attack, get repelled by the scouts and then Sailor Venus runs up the wall like a badass and is all "remember your past lives!!" She then breaks down how the scouts and the four pretty boys of the Apocalypse used to be twue rrove and the other scouts remember.

I am all for this plot development, as they have been clearly leading up to it throughout the last 9 episodes but I know other Sailor Moon fans hate this because reasons. So sound off in the comments and tell me if you like this development, hate it or are indifferent too it.

The brain washed pretty boys don't give two shits though and zap the scouts. Sailor Moon takes ten seconds out of crying over Tuxedo Mask and does a nice moon boomerang toss to interrupt them. She then breaks out her moon healing escalation and flies up above earth and saves the world? I have no sarcasm left for this. 

The four scouts band together and say that Usagi shouldn't have to save them all the time and try to unbrain wash their former lovers. It doesn't work but hey they made a valiant effort.

Back in the evil frozen underworld, Queen Beryl brain washes Tuxedo Mask into doing her dirty work and we see a dark Mamoru. You can tell he is evil by the glowing red eyes.


Legendary Silver Crystal Count: 12
Usagi cries: 0 times this episode!!

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