SMM: Character Development and Other Such Nonsense
Previously: We learned the Sailor Moon and Tuxedo Mask have the worst superhero disguises ever
Episode 7: Mamoru Chiba
We open back in Mamoru's bedroom where Usagi is still confused about where she is and how Mamoru is Tuxedo Mask. Usagi recaps the night before and then feels like a dumbass for not realizing Mamoru was Tuxedo mask like a million years ago. But then she has to ask him to confirm he's Tuxedo Mask and I'm all why? Who else keeps a top hat and mask on the table in his bedroom?
~*Shiny Moonlight Makeup Song*~
Usagi asks why he became Tuxedo Mask and he gives us this backstory of losing his parents as a child and not remembering who he was. He just keeps having dreams of a girl and the words "Legendary Silver Crystal." Mamoru think the key to regaining his lost memories is finding the Crystal. It's horribly sad but I also wonder how a teenage boy is living on his own and attending a fancy private school. What is with Japan's parental guardian laws?
He asks why Usagi is after it and she says its because Luna told her to find it an protect it. I'm slightly concerned that Mamoru doesn't ask who Luna is but I have the feeling he's already realized there is a talking cat afoot. He asks Usagi to keep it a secret between them and they stare lovingly into each others eyes for until Usagi freaks out and tells him that Luna is waiting for her. He grabs to stop her but its only because she forgot her bag which he sticks between the buns on her head. RUDE.
I'm very confused by this next scene because Usagi literally just woke up from sleeping and it was daytime and now she is walking home and its nighttime. Did he just hold that bag on her head for 8 hours? Anyways Usagi is all introspective because Mamoru called her Usako, which is a term of endearment I think. Usagi is all two steps away from doodling Usagi Chiba all over her notebooks, or whatever her name would be if they got married because I am not an expert on Japanese familial names and how they work.
We then spy on Luna being all sneaky in her acarde fortress where she is clearly talking to Sailor V about everything that has been going on and how Usagi isn't that great at being the leader of this ragtag group. Luna asks for more time but Sailor V isn't having it. This just confirms my theory that Sailor V was the badass in charge the whole time.
Down in the netherworld, Queen Beryl is awaking the Queen Metalia (who I really want to call Queen Metallica) is complaining that Beryl didn't get her the Crystal yet. Beryl says the Sailor Scouts have been meddling kids and stopping her progress. Metalia says they cannot defeat her again and that Beryl must stop them from re-awaking the moon kingdom.
Then we get some character backstory on Queen Beryl. Good job Sailor Moon Crystal for having backstory and more three-dimensional characters than the original Sailor Moon. The bad guys are still bad and the good guys are still good, but at least we get some motivation for their actions. Beryl was led by a mysterious force and discovered the Dark Kingdom but secretly she wants the Crystal for herself. Then she says "Legendary Silver Crystal" 6 times in a row and tells Zoisite to go get Sailor Moon for her.
And randomly we are in Japan's version of Blockbuster where Naru and friends are picking out movies. Rei just happens to be walking passed the Blockbuster and overhears people talking about Sailor Moon. Clearly Rei is getting bad mojo vibes from the movie store.
Now its lunchtime because fuck continuity and real time bullshit. Makoto, Ami and Usagi are having lunch or more accurately: Ami is using a knock-off Ipad to research Sailor V, Usagi is eating Makoto's lunch and Makoto is sitting there laughing. Ami points out that Sailor V has a crescent shape on her head like Luna and then out of nowhere Unimo, the annoying nerd, shows up acting all weird, being obsessed with Sailor Moon and wanting to catch her.
Luna pops her head out of the bushes because cat. Ami asks if she knows anything about Sailor V and Luna manages to be the worst lying cat ever claiming to know nothing about her. Usagi happens to be stuffing her face at the time because hands are overrated and gets ketchup all over her face. Then Usagi gets all embarrassed and vogues? IDK Anime is weird.
Usagi then realizes that she has Mamoru's pocketwatch and gets all pensive about her new love but that she's not telling them about it because she doesn't want Luna to stop her from seeing him again. Just like a mother cat trying to protect her. Then we see Mamoru across town sniffing Usagi's handkerchief like a fucking creeper.
Mamoru is riding the bus home being all why did I tell a 13 year old girl that shit because 13 year old girls are horrible at keeping secrets. Then he realizes that everyone on the bus is hunting down Sailor Moon and gets all worried for his new 13 year old love.
Ami manages to crack the DVD which shows Zoisite hypnotizing everyone to capture Sailor Moon and bring her to the dark Kingdom. Cut to the other Sailor Scouts realizing that shit is fucked up in town and that everyone is after Sailor Moon. The three Sailor Scouts run off to help Usagi but she's just staring at Mamoru's pocketwatch. She finally transforms which seems like a stupid thing to do when the entire town is after you, but hey 13 year old girl. The town tries to capture her but she waves her wand and they wonder what they fuck they are doing there.
Zoisite falls down from nowhere and captures Sailor Moon like the devious but beautifully haired villain he is. He demands the Crystal but obviously Sailor Moon doesn't have a fucking clue where it is. The scouts show up in time to throw attacks at Zoisite who is holding Sailor Moon. Do they think the attacks will just hurt Zoisite and not hostage too? Or do they just not care that their leader is going to be hurt by these attacks?
Either way it doesn't matter and Zoisite bubbles himself and doesn't even get a scratch. He manages to knock out all the scouts and continue to grill Sailor Moon until he choke holds her to passing out. Luna then freaks out into the computer screaming. Of course, who shows up just in time to save the day? Tuxedo Mask, because of course.
He catches Sailor Moon and faces off with Zoisite who proves to be too powerful for him. Zoisite realizes Tuxedo Mask wants the Crystal too, but then Tuxedo Mask is all nope I really just like Usagi because awwwwww and also way to give away Usagi's not-so-secret identity. Zoisite is not phased by true love and goes to kill Sailor Moon when finally the Calvary arrives in the form of Sailor V and her magical boomerang tiara and badass cat. Seriously, there could have been no better way to introduce her character.
So finally Sailor Venus arrives and the whole next episode is devoted to her. Fangirls everywhere can start squealing.