Tuesday, July 1, 2014

Confession: Being Boss-Y

So I've always been the kind of girl that people called bossy. I kind of had to be as a kid; I had younger siblings and a mom who was still young in her own right (Seriously I was 10 and she was 26). Somewhere in all of that I developed an attitude that if shit needed to get done right I needed to take charge and make sure that happened. This doesn't mean I didn't play well with others or railroaded people into doing what I wanted. I had more than my fair of group projects where I took a backseat to other more-vocal bossy people.

But somewhere along the line I learned how to take charge and get things done. This is especially true of my relationship with iMac. I am a super-type A neurotic. I pretty much have a set routine and start planning out my weekends on Thursday. That being said, iMac is a very mellow type-B and that is both good for me because it forces me to relax to accommodate him, and bad because I am forced to plan and coordinate everything (and when I ask for his input its "yeah thats fine".... gggrrrr). So I've gotten really used to bossing him around because if I didn't nothing would get done.

This is all well and good, but its funny now that I am technically a "boss" (I'm a middle manager in-charge of two-soon-to-be-four people), I find it an uncomfortable feeling. I mean I think I'm pretty good at training people to do the job and I try very hard to lead by example. When it comes to telling people what to do, or that they are doing something wrong, however, I feel sort of awkward about it...almost guilty.

The thing is I don't want to make anyone feel bad about themselves and I don't want to be Meryl Streep in the Devil Wears Prada. Nobody wants to be the boss that everyone hates and I just got rid of one of those, so I know how awful they can be. So I try really hard to be the boss without being bossy, and I try to show people how they could be doing things better instead of telling them they did something wrong (although I suppose wrong-ness is implicit in the fact that I am pointing out things they can do better).

The problem with this is that people don't change overnight and while I need to be forward about things needing to be done and stuff that has to change, my team has to be receptive to changing. We get so complacent in how things are, that we don't want to change. I don't want to be a bossy bitch, but I'm going to have to get comfortable with that if I don't want to get walked on. So I'm probably going to have to channel my inner- Devil Wears Prada Christian Siriano and I just have to find a way to get used to it.

Interwebs: did you ever have this problem? How did you handle it?

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