Tuesday, April 29, 2014

The Great Nap Adventure

Let me preface this post by saying I am a priss. I was never one of the girls that was a tom-boy and liked catching frogs and playing in the mud. Those kind of adventures were reserved for UNC-Sis. I was and am a grade A 100% prissy bitch, and I mean that in the nicest way possible. I was the kind of girl who wanted to have tea parties and learned to sew. I did and still do love a frilly dress and while I have grown accustomed to getting my hands dirty for things, I don't much enjoy it.

That being said when iMac suggest the idea of going camping my face kinda looked like this:

Camping really isn't in my repertoire of things. I did it once or twice under duress because my parents made me as a child and I HATED it. This is possible because UNC-Sis kicked me in the back all night when I was trying to sleep or that I had to bath in a dirty river or that the idea of not having indoor plumbing is enough to send me into the fetal position rocking back and forth. So let that be a testament of things I do for love when only after suggesting it about five times, I finally caved and agreed to go campaign with iMac.

With caveats of course. The first being that any campsite we went to had indoor plumbing so that when my OCD went bat-shit crazy I would be okay. The second being that we had an air-mattress. So iMac was a trouper and was willing to agree to those terms and I went to buy lots of allergy medicine. I happen to be allergic to anything that is green and creates oxygen (except strangely Ragweed), so being in the woods is just a recipe for me to be a sneezy snot-covered mess.
View from our tent

So we left Friday night and drove about an hour away to a campsite, where we tried to start a fire in the dark and I actually pitched the tent. We were next to a really nice extended family but they had like 8 kids with them who woke up at like 6 am and work everyone in a five-mile radius up with them. iMac and I went hiking a couple times, but the whole trip was literally an exercise in napping. There wasn't much to do at the park itself and iMac refused to play cards with me. Apparently he hates playing cards, of all types and all games forever and always, so after six rounds of solitaire I was pretty fucking bored. So we did some hardcore- several times a day napping. It would have been glorious if it hadn't been for screaming children and a less then comfy air-mattress (we needed more blankets, I think).

That being said we did find some awesome-as-fuck turtles. This bad ass mama-jamma looked like a grumpy old man ready to yell at us to get off his lawn while shaking a rake at us.


It wasn't so awful the first time, so I have agreed to go camping again although next time it will be on a campsite by the beach so at least I can get a good tan.

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