Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I'm Going to Regret This

You ever do something and know you are going to regret it in like an hour?

Yeah, I did that recently; I bought a scale.

And I knew when I was buying that scale that I was going to regret it in less than 24 hours. Heck, it didn't even take 6 hours. The minute I took that thing out of the box and got on it, I knew I had made a horrible mistake. See the problem with me is that I am never happy at the weight I am at. I'm pretty sure I could be 100 pounds and still not be happy. But if I don't know how much I weigh, I can only judge by the way my pants fit and I can always argue its due to PMS. The pants system has worked for me a long time and makes me infinitely less neurotic.

That being said this "get healthy" New Years Resolution of mine has resulted in me losing three pounds this month, which of course I'm not happy about because WHY IS IT NOT TEN! I know, I'm insufferable and should be smacked repeatedly. Pray for iMac as he has to put up with me everyday.

Speaking of iMac, he got on the scale a little while later and found out that he has gained 15 pounds since moving in with me. This is mostly likely due to the fact that I make him eat real meals and don't allow him to go a whole day just eating pop-tarts. Before anyone tells me I've done something horrible to him, iMac weighed all of 125 pounds and was a size 28 pants when I met him. They don't even make a size 28 pants in men sizes.  I couldn't even find a belt small enough for him without going to the kids section. I did him a favor by giving him food; he no longer looks like spent a month living in a concentration camp.

In other news, when is winter going to be over? Didn't I move to Florida to escape this?
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