Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Family Affairs or Please Stop Hugging Me

So I talk a lot about my family and all the weird stuff they do. I mean I'm pretty sure my parents are trying to set the bar for bizarre traditions and such.

But I'm going to switch it up and talk about Imac's family for a change. Much like me, Imac's parents are seperated. His father remarried and he has two older step-sisters and two younger half sisters. I have met the two younger sisters, who are very religious before. I haven't gotten to meet the older sisters. One lives in Cuba (lucky her) and the other one I am going to meet at Thanksgiving at her house. This is my first official family function with Imac's family and so I'm a little nervous. Also its the sister who is hosting Thanksgiving and apparently she just became a vegetarian so I keep telling Imac were going to end up with Tofurky. He doesn't think that is very funny.


On the other side of Imac's family is his mother. His mother is..... interesting. She is a very nice woman but she is different. Let start off with she is bleach blond (naturally) and trying to rock dreadlocks but can't get them to take, so her hair is braided instead.

Like this but she's 50.
I'm not going to go into her taste in men but Imac summed it up best when he said "it pretty much just keeps getting worse." Neither of these things bother me that, what bothers me about her is two things:

A). She gets drunks and says things that are really inappropriate, awkward and uncomfortable. Also I'm pretty sure most of them are entirely not true. One time when drunk she told me that Imac's dad kicked her in the stomach on purpose when she was pregnant with Imac because he was mad at her/didn't want kids. The man has five kids and is like the sweetest, quietest, nicest guy. So believe her I do not. Also WHY WOULD YOU TELL YOUR SON'S GIRLFRIEND THAT? For the record, this happened right in front of Imac and he politely changed the subject. But that is just the tip of the iceberg of weird things she has said when drunk, besides the fact that every 3 seconds its "when are you having my grandbabies?"

But the bigger reason is B). SHE WON'T STOP HUGGING ME.

Listen, I don't come from a family of touchy-feely huggy people. My own mother hasn't hugged me since I was 9. Even when they moved 12 hours away I didn't get a hug goodbye. Hugging just isn't in my family DNA. And if we do hug its a 5 second, haven't seen you in 5 years kind of thing.

Imac's mom, however, is of the touchy-feely variety. She wants to constantly be hugging me and constantly be touching me and all I can think is:

I would forcefully throw her off me if I could but I don't want to be rude. Imac has gotten pretty good about trying to keep her on one side of him and me on the other because he knows it drives me insane. Seriously, I don't see her that often but when I do its like she wants to get in a whole year of touches in.

So you tell me: Am I crazy for letting that bother me or am I totally justified about the hugging thing?


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