Tuesday, September 3, 2013

I Don't Own Enough Alcohol for This

So the last two weeks for me have been completely insane and there is no better way to explain it then to run down the events that happened. We start on:

Tuesday, August 20th
- Imac leaves for Jacksonville Florida for two job interviews the following day.

Wednesday, August 21st
- Imac has a job interview at 9:30 a.m. and is offered a job.
- Imac calls me at lunch to talk before his second interview at 2.
- Imac calls me at 5:30 p.m. to tell me he just has a 3 1/2 hour interview with a company and has taken a job with them. They are paying him almost double what his current job was paying him and they are going to reimburse us up to $3,000 for the move to Jacksonville. They want him to start September 3rd, so Imac asks if we can move by then.
- I look at the calender and ask him if he seriously expects me to move our entire two-bedroom townhouse in 11 days. We argue, I finally cave and agree to move to Jacksonville over Labor Day Weekend.

Thursday, August 22nd
- I give my 8 day notice to my current job, apologizing profusely about the incredibly short notice and feeling terrible about it.
- I send about a dozen housing listings to Imac to find us a house to move into in such short notice.

Friday, August 23rd
- I start packing up our townhouse.
- Imac runs around town and finds us a nice duplex to rent and sends an email to our current landlord explaining the situation and apologizing for the short notice.

Saturday, August 24th
- I'm still packing the house and trying to coordinate getting a U-haul truck.
- Imac schedule a bus ride back to Myrtle Beach so that he can help me pack
- Around 2:30 p.m. on Saturday, Imac calls me to tell me that he screwed something up and now we need to move on Wednesday.
- 2:35 p.m. Cue Massive Freakout: I (being under considerable stress from being rushed) totally, completely, and utterly have a meltdown. I cannot handle the stress of packing up the entire house, while still going to work, and having to move this soon. I am a hot mess. I am shaking, crying, hyperventilating and screaming at Imac because he screwed something up that would have only taken like 30 seconds to do and now I have to rush everything.*
Like this with more tears
- 3:30 p.m.  I stop by my old job to see a friend who helps me calm down.
- 4:30 p.m. I go to work.

Sunday, August 25th
- 11:30 a.m. I pick Imac up from the bus stop and spend the next thirty minutes listening to him complaining about riding a greyhound and how its the worst thing I have ever done to him (He kept calling it poor people hell).**
-12:30 p.m. I go to work
- After work, I am in packing hell trying to get everything done

Monday, August 26th
- OMG the packing never stops!!!

Tuesday, August 27th
- I get off work, and go to get my oil changed at Wal-mart. They claim they can't do it because the oil plug is stripped.
- I take the car to Midas and they do it in 30 minutes but tell me I desperately need a new car battery (which I have been told about 4 times before).
- 4:00 p.m. Imac and I go to get the U-Haul I had reserved a few days ago on U-haul.com. We drive to the U-haul place around the corner only for Imac to tell me that the pick-up destination is somewhere else (which would have been great to know beforehand).
- We drive to the location that U-haul.com says the truck is located at, 30 minutes in the other direction. Except, there is no U-haul dealership there. There is nothing there but an open field with a chain-link fence. We Apple map the area and find a U-haul dealership across the street down the road. We drive there only for them to tell us they don't do out-of-state U-haul rentals.
- 5 p.m. We finally find a U-haul place on the way home and they rent us a truck before I burst into tears.
- 6:30 p.m. We drop off a bunch of furniture at the recycling center.
- 7 p.m. We get a new car battery, go home and I get drunk while packing and doing laundry.

Wednesday, August 28th
- We pack the U-haul, clean the townhouse, drop off the keys and leave by 3:30 p.m.
- I drive the 14 ft. U-haul truck because Imac is a pussy and refuses to.***
- The trip takes like 7 1/2 hours because we keep having to stop to take the dogs out. Also because I have the smallest bladder in history.
- Towards the end of the trip, Imac and I get separated because he is a speed demon and I refuse to drive over 70 in that huge U-Haul leading me to get very pissed off and tell him to "fuck off" repeatedly.
- We arrive at the new house in Jacksonville. Nixon and Kennedy get their first taste of having a fenced in back yard.
- Kennedy runs head first into the fence like a dumbass and is afraid to go into the backyard without adult supervision. Nixon refuses to come in from the backyard because HE. HAS. TO. PEE. ON. EVERY. SINGLE. BLADE. OF. GRASS.
- 11:30 p.m. We manage to wiggle the mattress out of the van and promptly pass out.

Thursday, August 29th
- Why does unpacking take so much less time than loading?
- We drop off the U-haul around 3:30 p.m.
- We get lunch to celebrate
Except with alcohol

So after a week of actual hell, I am officially living in Jacksonville, Florida now. So far its better than Myrtle Beach (although its not hard to be better than there). Now lets hope I can find a job.

 Footnotes:
*I would like to note that being under this much stress and anxiety makes my OCD particularly crazy. This is especially true when I have things all planned out and then the rug gets pulled out from under me. I don't handle well. I'm not saying my OCD caused all this, but it sure didn't help the situation.
** Imac wanted to take a flight back from Jacksonville, but knowing that moving in such a short amount of time would take a lot of money I wouldn't let him. I told him it wasn't sensible to spend $400 on a flight when he could spend $82 bucks and take an 8 hour Greyhound bus where he would sleep most of the trip anyways.
*** In fairness, Imac has never driven anything bigger than his tiny Honda Accord while I have been used to driving my step-dad's huge Ford 150 or my Mom's SUV or Minivan. Still, wimp.
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