Tuesday, May 28, 2013

I'm in Miami Bitch (part 1)

Or I guess I was in Miami.

My current job put on huge digital marketing conference about two weeks ago in Miami. I wasn't actually supposed to go but last minute my boss decided to bring the whole office, which meant four days in Miami partially working my ass off. So here is a recap of my Miami Adventure.

So we flew out Tuesday morning at 8:03 a.m. I don't know if I have mentioned it before but I FUCKING HATE flying. It's pretty much my least favorite thing to do ever. So the idea of doing it first thing in the morning was just not high on my list of fun things to do.
I pretty much felt like this on the plane

So we arrive in the Miami area and get on this shuttle to our hotel. Our shuttle driver is Haitian and tells us all the interesting stuff in the town like which sections are run by the Russian mob or the Jewish mob; where Scarface's house is located; and taking us through what he calls "heart of hell." Of course this is going on while my 90% male coworkers are asking if this is the "bang bus" and "where are all the bitches?"


So we finally arrived at our hotel, The James Royal Palm, where my event planner-coworker gave me my room key and I freaked out at how awesome my hotel room is.

The view from my room

Imac said I can get a set of these for the apartment

So then its lunch time and I have to help fold t-shirts, run check-in, help with sound-check and other assorted work stuff. After check-in and shit are done, I'm waiting on my two coworkers to get finished with A/V set ups so we can go to dinner. The rest of my staff (the male portions) have already gone to dinner and now running around Miami (its about 8 p.m. at this point). So finally we get finished up about the time my Boss is heading out to dinner with several of our speakers for the next two days. My coworkers and I decide to go along because hello free dinner and getting to mingle with some of the most important people in Digital Marketing.

So we take a short walk over to BLT Steak located right down the road from our hotel. This place is super swanky and I all I kept thinking is "I'm too poor for this shit." This way probably the nicest restaurant I have ever been to. So because I'm so used to acting poor  I order the cheapest thing on the menu, which is a $42 steak and a ceaser salad. Everyone else is drinking and having a good time and then the staff brings these amazing popovers to the table.
Like heaven in your mouth


I literally didn't need any more food after that. Those popovers were amazing and I could have eaten like six of them. I don't know how they make them but I got to get the recipe. Then my salad comes and its fucking huge. Then my steak comes and OH MY GOD. This was the best steak I have ever had in my entire life and am likely to ever have again. I wanted to swim in that steak.

While this was going on my (straight) male coworkers manage to wander into downtown South Beach and stop to get drinks at the only gay bar within walking distance of our hotel. They didn't even know it was a gay bar for like thirty minutes until one of them checked-in on Foursquare and got their first badge at a gay bar. I don't know how they didn't know since the place was named "Score" and that can only be the name of a gay bar (or I guess a soccer bar).

And this is just day 1 of my four day trip...
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