Tuesday, March 12, 2013

There are A Lot of Bizarre People in this World

I know I've been gone for awhile and I have a really good explanation.

I was dying.

Okay not really. But I was very sick for like eight weeks. So sick, in fact, that I went to the doctors, which I pretty much only do when I am dead. But they gave me antibiotics and I'm all sparkly and good again (albeit with an extra 5 pounds I gained from being sick). Anyways being sick has given me a lot of time to read the news and people watch. So I have some good stories to tell, mostly about bizarre things people do.

STORY 1: Lets start off with the most bizarre: Have you guys heard about the cannibal cop? If you haven't please read this story and this story. If you are too lazy to read this NYC cop had this long running online fetish of kidnapping and then slowly cooking women in his stove before eating them. He even illegally accessed an online database to get addresses and invited one girl out to lunch. He's on trial for conspiracy to commit murder among other crimes.

Now I've never looked at a human and thought "man that would be a tasty thigh to munch on." I don't even look at a live chicken and think that.  So I don't understand at all where this guy was coming from. But whats worse is that he wanted to slowly roast them in his oven and them eat them while they were still alive. I mean the bitch had recipes. EWWW WTF is wrong with these people?

UPDATE: Right before I went to post this, the jury reached its verdict of guilty on all counts.

STORY 2: This one actually happened when I was driving home one day. So I'm driving home and I see this white car on the side of the road with her flashers on. I don't think too much about it until she pulls out in front of the car in front of me and the guy in front of me has to slam on his brakes. Anyways we all continue driving but this white car was going kind of slow, so the guy in front of me passed her, then I went to pass her and she nearly side-swiped me. And I drove on..

Then I hit a stoplight and as I am waiting on the light this same white car pulls into the white Y-shaped section between lanes where a turn off is...

Like This
... and a crazy-looking, heavy-set white lady who looks like she hasn't washed her hair in a week gets out of the driver seat. She throws open the door to the backseat and proceeds to beat the crap out of the person sitting there. I mean she is screaming at the top of her lungs and whacking the shit out of this person. Now from my vantage point I cannot see who is in the backseat. I don't know if its a kid, dog, person, whatever. Now I'm tempted to call the cops because this lady has nearly caused an accident twice and is now stopped in the middle of an intersection on a super busy highway. But then the lady gets back into the car, the light turns green and I continue driving home as this lady yet again cut someone off getting back into the flow of traffic.

Now this lady is behind me and I figure she is done being all insane, but I was wrong. Two intersections later I am stopped at a four-way intersection at another light. Now again I am sitting in the left lane as this crazy car pulls into the left turn lane again and nearly runs off the road. Now I can see the driver turning around and screaming from where I am. After about two minutes an 20-something looking guy with dark brown hair gets out of the backseat and walks through the traffic to the right side of the road (where a CVS happens to be), obviously frustrated and ready to get away from this crazy bitch. I figure whatever ever is going on is all over now. The light turns green and I get ready to go when this crazy bitch cuts off two lanes of traffic.

For those who can't picture it.
The car then pulls into a ditch on the other side of the road where this crazy white bitch gets out and starts to scream at this man again. Now at this point I'm really ready to call the cops. This crazy bitch has nearly sideswiped me and has cut off more than six cars and I don't know how she didn't cause an accident. This isn't like a little road I am driving on. This is a major US highway with a 55MPH speed limit and is like the biggest thoroughfare where I live. I end up not calling the cops because A). she is pulled over on the side of the road and B). I don't have her license plate number.

I did, however, feel really sorry for that guy. He couldn't even get away from her.
All of these stories are mine except the ones that aren't. Pictures are property of their creators. Powered by Blogger.