Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Banned For Life

So I meant to write this post last week and it got delayed, and I will admit some I'm not as venomous about it as I was. I suppose this is because Imac and I are moving in together in less than two weeks. But anyways, I have been banned from Imac's townhouse.

No, not by Imac but by his roommate who is a total Douche Canoe (forevermore called DC). I have tried many many times to be friendly to this guy, who I generally think is a plight on society. He's probably one of the most inconsiderate, condescending, self-absorbed, narcissistic people I have ever met. He's a poor white rich boy, whose parents have paid for everything for him his entire life. He spent 8 years in college getting a bachelor's degree because he didn't want to graduate because then his parents wouldn't take care of him. He was finally forced to graduate and now spends his days vegging around his parents townhouse doing not a damn thing, although I have the inkling he does some not so kosher things for cash. He gets food stamps because he doesn't have a job, not that he has ever applied for one.

Now that you have the general idea of who DC is, let me make it clear that while I think he is a worthless human being, I have tried to be to nice to him. He is not the kind of person I would ever be friends with on my own, but he has been Imac's friend since high school, so I tried VERY VERY HARD to get along with him.

Which was challenging most of them time. I would come over to Imac's place for dinner and I would have to spend 3 hours listening to DC talk about random things (mostly 1980s politics). Then he would go "you're a history major, how do you not know this?" like 16 times before I would finally tell him that he was wrong about whatever it is he was going on about this time. Only for him to be like "I'm not wrong, you're full of shit." like 13 more times before he would finally Google it and find out I was right.

I finally just got to the point that when I was at Imac's place and DC was around, I just didn't talk unless I was asked a direct question. I will literally sit there for 4 hours and not say anything because it was better than having a conversation with this guy. But really three incidents got me banned from the apartment:

1. I told the guy he was going to wrong way to the movies when he unnecessarily took a right turn onto a road when staying straight would have got us to the movies faster. (btw, we were already late to the movies and it was a double date with a girl that was waiting for us to get there)

2. I disagreed with him about a politician that DC has a hard on for. I should note this is a politician I voted for and am friends with his daughter-in-law.

3. Imac and I were hanging out with DC and one of Imac's coworkers and his GF for like 4 hours and at 2 am, we decided we were tired and were going to go to bed and apparently DC thought we were being rude.

It was sometime after that as right before we headed down to Florida for Christmas that Imac told DC that he would be moving out of the apartment and moving in with me in February. It was at this point that DC went on a 2 hour yelling rage about me and how I was rude and a horrible person and was trying to steal Imac away from him and that I was banned from the townhouse.

I pretty much thought this was funny because really I got banned over these three incidents? I didn't kill a puppy; I didn't call him a Douche Canoe even though I have wanted to A LOT; I have put up with his ranting and raving and condescending treatment of me and my intelligence. And I get banned over these three incidents? It was completely laughable. I mean he's like a toddler throwing a hissy fit over a toy. Its completely ridiculous.

But then when we were driving down to Florida, DC was texting Imac while he was driving and so I was answering the texts. DC wanted some money he felt Imac owed him and we politely told him we would transfer it into his account when we got to the hotel because Imac was driving. And DC responded back with "Have (Coyote Rose) do it. Her ugly ass has to be good for something."

At that point I handed the phone back to Imac and told him I was done putting up with DC's shit and I was done being nice to him. Imac has smartly kept us apart since then because I'm pretty sure DC would have a verbal tongue lashing coming otherwise.

What. A. Douche.
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