Getting Back On The Horse

So there is the old adage that when you fall off a horse you have to get right back up in the saddle and try again. I kind of believe that's true for everything in life including dating. So even though I got thrown pretty hard off the horse this last go around, its time for me to get back in the saddle (metaphorically speaking of course)

Anyways, since there is a better chance of Lindsey Lohan getting elected President than Imac and I getting back together (not that I'm totally opposed to it, but Nugs is) and I have gone through a respectable amount of grieving time for our brief notquite4month relationship - I have been giving dating another go around.

I would love to tell you its going great. It's not, but it hasn't been awful either. I've been on a couple first dates and even a second one or two, but I haven't found the next great love of my life. So far the guys have all been nice enough, but they don't exactly overwhelm me. The one guy I have been on two dates with is super nice and friendly and we have tons to talk about and there is just nothing there. I feel badly because he's such a nice guy and I know he would treat me well (and guys in my past haven't treated me all that great) but that's just not a good reason to date someone. Even Meathole guy agrees with me on that, and you know its bad when he agrees with me. I just want to like him so much more than I do, because on paper he is kind of perfect for me. But alas, you can't fake chemistry. Nugs has convinced me to go on one more date with him at least because who knows maybe he will surprise me, but I dunno about that.

But its nice to be reminded that I am in fact young, fun and attractive. And maybe, hopefully, someday I will find the right guy for me. While I'm working on that at least I'm having fun with the wrongs ones. So have you ever wanted to like a guy more than you did? How did you deal with it?

PS. If none of these names make any sense to you. I suggest you check out my newly updated Cast of Characters aka the people I talk about on this blog regularly.

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I'm Bringing Sexy Back...

... Okay maybe not.

One of my deep-seated insecurities is that I'm not very pretty. I was sort of an ugly duckling in middle school and high school and I never really got over that. Sure I know I'm attractive now, but it never really feels real. My ex's haven't really been the type to tell me I was pretty or attractive either, unless it was to comment about how great a particular body part of mine was.

Anyways so after the breakup I was feeling particularly un-pretty, and fuck that shit, no one makes me feel unattractive but me. So this weekend was all about me bringing my sexy back. It was a four step process:

Step One: Buying new underwear at Victoria Secrets. I don't know what about shopping at Victoria Secrets makes me feel so much prettier, but I'm pretty sure their underwear could make a hippo feel sexy. Bathing suits make me feel liked a beached whale. VS underwear makes me feel like I could strut on a runway, go figure. Anyways my shopping spree just happened to coincide with their 7 for 26 sale. Lucky Me!

Step Two: Haircut! I love my hair but I have often complained about how completely insane it makes me. I mean I have Shirley Temple hair and it completely has a mind of his own (I call him Steve). I try to keep it short, even though guys hate short hair, simply because the longer it gets the more I look like an extra in the Lion King. Anyways it was time to get my spring cut and I feel like I lost 2 inches and 40 pounds with my haircut.

Step Three: Whore Red. So it's pretty common knowledge that I dye my hair red (whore red says Nugs, Hot Tamale says the dye box). I really don't like myself as a brunette, I don't really think it fits me or my personality at all. So I've been going the same shade of red since high school, and I just realized today that Scarjo in the Avengers totally stole my look. I won't lie, I am not as sexy as her though.

Although we all know what I'm going to be for Halloween now

Step Four: Poolside! One of the drawbacks of living at the beach is that you never see it. For the last couple years I've worked waiting tables which means by the time I get out of bed most days its time to go back to work. But this year with the new job I am going to be tan, dammit. So I laid out Saturday for an hour and promptly got slightly toasted. I look a little like a baby lobster right now, but whatever it should be faded by tomorrow and I'll have a nice base tan.

Anyways one weekend of taking care of me and I already feel sexier. This bitch is bringing sexy back! So what makes you feel sexy?

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Getting Things Done... Or Not

So the great/awful thing about being single again is that I have tons of free time that I have to fill. I would love to tell you I've been super productive recently, but alas not so much. Which isn't to say I haven't gotten things done, but I've gotten a lot less done than I could have. I pretty much spent this Saturday vegged out on my couch watching my NJ Devils get their butt whooped by the NY Rangers (Shut up Nugs I can hear you laughing!) So things I have gotten accomplished:

1. I Shaved My Dogs- every summer I shave down my dog Nixon because he's essentially becomes a large furball over the winter. This year I shaved down Kennedy too, despite her best struggle against it. I have to say they look so different with less fur. See for yourself:

I'm pretty sure Kennedy is still pissed about the loss of her fur and is quietly plotting her revenge as we speak.

2. I've watched a lot more sports- Obviously the aforementioned Devils vs. Rangers Hockey playoffs, but also baseball. One of my friends and I are hoping to catch a minor league game here this week, which always turns badly because I'm a Yankees Fan and he's a Red Sox Fan and so we spend half the game shit talking even though we are watching a Texas Rangers affiliate team. Seriously, you can always find a way to argue about sports.

3. I tried Nutella- I realize I am way way way behind the curve on this, but I'm slow on the uptake sometimes. It's delicious and deceptively addicting. I have the feeling I am going to gain 5 pounds just from the first jar.

Heaven in a Jar

4. I caught up on my tivo - Seriously, I had so so so many shows backlogged on my tivo. I had something like 32 episodes of General Hospital (Listen, I am allowed one soapy melodrama and One Life to Live got cancelled) at one point. So I'm almost done clearing it out, now I'm going to have to find more tv to watch. Maury is still on right?

There are still other things I want to get back into the swing off: Reading books on the regular, finishing that blanket I started crocheting back in like November, working on my own fiction novels that have been on the back-burner.  I'll get there eventually, while I'm at it do you guys have any suggestions of hobbies or things I should do/try/read/eat while I have this free time?

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Things I Like Thursday!

 So one of my favorite Bloggers, Gina at This is Not Your Blog started a link-up called "Things I Like Thursday." So here are a couple of things I like this week:

1. The Lizzie Bennett Diaries - Someone got the genius idea to take Pride and Prejudice, update it to the modern era and make it a video blog. It is hilarious. Sure we all know how it is going to end, but I dare you to watch the first episode and not get hooked.

2. Blogging 50 Shades of Grey- One of my homegirls, Lor, is blogging each chapter of 50 Shades of Grey over at Snark Squad Culture. If any book was in desperate need of snarking, that book would be it. Her recaps are hilarious and make me grateful that I did not buy this book as I would be burning it (and I hate doing that to books). 

 3. Cher- I know that Adele and Kelly Clarkson are the breakup song queens, but for my particular breed of pain, Cher is my go-to song girl. I have been listening to Strong Enough on repeat for like a week. I mean its a breakup song that is both "kiss my ass" and you can dance to it. That's a win for me!

 

So what are you loving this Thursday?

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Moving On... In So Many Ways

I promised I'd be back to my regular snarky-self this week after the whole IMac debacle. I would love to tell you I am totally over him but I don't like lying to my readers. But thanks to Nugs, Ginny, The Nip Clique and several of my 5th floor boys, I am well on the road to being over him and moving on with my life.

That being said, I'm not going to spend anymore time even talking about him. There are way more important things going on in my life...

Like the fact that my entire family is moving to Florida. Sometime after I moved into my shiny new apartment in September, my parents decided to drop the bombshell that they were moving to Florida. They finally get me to live within an hour of them and then they decided to move. Seriously parents, WTF?

In fairness to them, they  are moving to Florida because my grandparents are moving there to live with my Aunt and Uncle. So this Saturday (on my birthday no less) I trudged up to my grandparents house (which is around the corner from my parents house) and said goodbye to my grandparents. They are moving to Trinity, Florida and leaving on Thursday. It was so depressing for me to see them go. My grandparents are the reason I am the person I am. I owe them so much I can't even begin to explain it. Seeing their house all packed up was just heartbreaking. I don't know when I am going to get to see them again, which just made it that much scarier for me.

My parents are moving to Bradenton, FL but not quite yet. My stepdad already got a job there starting in August, but they haven't put their house on the market yet and I'm hoping they don't sell it soon because OMG what am I going to do without any family within 10 hours of me. Who is going to bail me out when I screw shit up?

Everyone expects me to move down there too. I'm sure in time I will end up in Florida as well, I can't imagine Christmas without my mom's crazy Christmas Survivor games or Thanksgiving without my Grandpa's candied yams. I'm not in a rush to move. I have a job I really love here (I just interviewed a guy running for the state senate on Monday) and friends. While losing IMac was a blow to staying in South Carolina, Its not a decision I want to rush into making either. I full intend to take my time before deciding anything.

Until then, I'm having serious abandonment issues here. Is it weird that I want to be close to my family or is it normal to not like being so far away from them?

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The Hardest Post I Have Ever Written

So anyone who follows my Twitter or has been around 20sb bloggers probably already knows that Imac and I broke up. For those who didn't know, Imac and I broke up.

I would love to tell you it was an amicable breakup and that it was a mutual decision but Nugs would call me a lying liar-face. I broke up with him and I spent all day Tuesday crying over it. I stopped crying Tuesday night just long enough to open my fridge to get a soda, see his Bud Light can sitting there and then I totally lost it again.

I did it for the right reasons though. We had been together just short of 4 months and while I was totally enamored of him, he just didn't feel the same way about me. I had known for a couple weeks that things were going downhill. All of his friends knew me as his girlfriend; I had introduced him as my boyfriend; We were together 4-5 nights a week; he had asked me if i wanted to go on a cruise with him and his sisters in the fall and yet 4 months in, we still weren't facebook official and his family still didn't know he was dating anyone.  So I asked him why he was dating me and his response was "I've enjoyed the time we've spent together." Which left me completely clueless to how he felt. So I had to force a very long conversation where he told me that he didn't want anything serious, commitment sucks and that he didn't want to ever marry me.

I was crushed. Thank god for Nugs and my Nip Clique girls because I was a trainwreck  and they got me through it. It wasn't like I wanted to marry him; I'm not ready to marry anyone let alone someone I was dating for 4 months. All I really wanted him to say was "I like you. I care about you. I want to be with you and we'll see where it goes." I didn't need some epic vow of love or to move in with him; I just wanted to know that he wanted to be with me and I just wasn't some placeholder girlfriend for him until something better came along. What I got was that he has commitment issues and that I wasn't it for him. So I ended it.

I don't wish him any ill-will and I want what's best for him. I want him to be happy because I care about him and he deserves that. I can honestly say, he probably won't ever find anyone who treated him as well as I did. I adored him and I was always baking cookies for him and doing nice things for him. But I wasn't appreciated and I didn't feel cared about.

Its been a really hard last 2 days because I've gotten accustomed to having him around and its kind of like having my arm chopped off. I'm used to it being there and its hard to deal with the fact that its gone. I still want to act like its there. I miss talking to him. I miss the way he would wrap his feet around mine because my feet are always cold. I miss the way his nose always ran during sex. But overtime I will forget and move on, because I deserve to be happy too. I promise to be back to normal and snarky next week. I don't like being all emo, but I owed you guys the truth and honestly writing this has been therapeutic for me.

As for that can of Bud Light, I flushed it down the toilet this morning.

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