Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Comings and Goings

So I've made some life changes in the last couple weeks that I feel like are for the better. I wouldn't say I've been unhappy but there have been some things going on that have weighed heavy on my conscious and some changes needed to be made.

First off,  the big one is that I left my job. It was a hard decision to make because writing is my dream job, but there had been some things going on at work that I wasn't comfortable with. The environment had started to feel toxic to me and my boss and I agreed that it would be best for both parties to just end my contract and for me to move on with my life. I hold no ill-will against my former employer, and I wish them all the luck in the world. But I can't go into a job that is making me physically sick from stress and paranoia. So I'm back on the job market for now. I have the feeling its going to be back to waitressing for awhile.

 *Insert bad sex joke here* On the flipside, If you've been following my new coblog Snark & Sex, you already know about a guy I was seeing that I really like who just backed out of wanting to date me. Well that's only half the story.

The day after that happened, IMac told me he wanted to get back together. Listen I know a lot of you out there are screaming at your computers right now that I would even think about getting back together with him after what happened. But he seemed sincere and told me that he missed me and he realized he couldn't replace me. I wasn't convinced even though he kept asking me to let him try. And then this convo happened:

Imac: It would have taken longer. I've been thinking about you and getting sick of the blind date thing.
Rose: you're only sick of the blind date thing because you haven't found anyone worth dating off it
Imac: Sure, but I don't think I ever will. Responses are few and far between and the responders just get worse and worse. It made me want to take a class at [Local College] just to pick up on college kids.
Rose: Hahah, but thats not a good reason to get back together with me
Imac: You came along at just the right time and you were so nice that I took you for-granted. I didn't think we would get serious and I thought I didn't want that. But I do want it with someone that I'm comfortable with and who makes me happy. You do make me happy and I am comfortable with you.
Imac: So, instead of you being all nice to me, lets reverse that and I'll do what I can to prove myself to you. Things can be different.

And I melted like a crayon left in the backseat of a car. Which of course then I had to tell people I was giving him a second chance. This wasn't so bad with my family or G-Fab, but I was worried Nugs was going to rent an AK47 and a jet and fly to my house and hold me at gunpoint until I called it off again. Imagine my surprise when she actually gave me her blessing to date Imac again, although she said if he screwed up again she would hunt him down and have him killed.It also led to this convo:

Nugs: you should make him buy you a pony
Rose: I'd just settle for flowers
Nugs: but ponies are so cute
Rose: where would I keep a pony?
Nugs: As your friend, I volunteer my house
Rose: ugh where would you keep a pony in your apartment?
Nugs: ok, you're missing the point
Rose: no I get the point, I just don't get the praticallity
Nugs: is that really what's important here? THERE ARE PONIES
Rose: really? fuck the pony its going to look way tiny under me
a horse would be better
Nugs: I've never once had the desire to fuck a pony. that would hurt
Rose: I mean riding it. Pony's are tiny and I'm tall
Nugs: we seriously should make a book out of our conversations

I know, we think we are way way funnier than we actually are. It's lot of changes in the span of a few weeks and I'm taking some big risks both personally and professionally. But I feel like when you are unhappy, you have to make changes otherwise the unhappiness is going to poison everything in your life. So while you might not understand my motivations or timing, at least know I'm happier than I have been in awhile now that I've made these changes.
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