Thursday, June 28, 2012

NO, Just No

Okay, I don't quite know when my blog turned into a dating blog. I certainly never meant for that to happen. But considering dating and work take up 70% of my free time (the dogs take up another 20%) and I don't like talking about work on here, I guess it shouldn't surprise me that it has become a topic of choice recently.

Anyways when it comes to online dating, there are just some gems I get that I can't help mocking. Like this message I was sent the other day:

WHY? Why would you send that to ANY girl as a first message. It's like saying, "I don't want to try too hard to get to know you. I'm just going to go straight for the sex angle and hope this girl is whorey enough to enjoy it." Also how hard is it to spell "you" its two extra motherfucking letter you lazy bastards!

Then I got this message:

Now this guy seems sweet enough except that when I looked at his profile he was nearly 10 years younger than me. Hence probably why he started off the message saying "ma'am." Nothing shrivels up my panties faster than being called ma'am. I am not 90. Also the fact that there was only two periods in over 50 words. Grammar matters people!

It concerns me that this guy (who isn't even legal drinking age) believes he is "going all the way this time."  What does that even mean? When I first read it, I thought he was talking about marriage but now I wonder if he is just a virgin and means getting laid. Either way I'm not looking to be anyone's cougar. There is nothing that someone who can't even remember cassette tapes is going to be able to teach me.

Also, Dear Men of the World:

 Please think about what you are picking as your profile name. If your name sounds like any of the following:
  • okieoralfixation
  • frostyfatdik
  • yourmomgigolo 
  • Needsumlovn
  • NeedingAHug
  • Hard2Handle

I would suggest changing it. Nothing about those names is going to make any girl want to date you, and frankly with online dating everybody is judging everybody based on superficial things. You don't want to strike out based on a really bad naming decision.

PS. Please if you are getting annoyed with my ranting about dating- tell me about it. I promise to stop if its driving y'all nuts. I also promise to find better things to talk about, like reality TV and the fact that my family is crazy.
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