Tuesday, May 29, 2012

I'm Bringing Sexy Back...



... Okay maybe not.

One of my deep-seated insecurities is that I'm not very pretty. I was sort of an ugly duckling in middle school and high school and I never really got over that. Sure I know I'm attractive now, but it never really feels real. My ex's haven't really been the type to tell me I was pretty or attractive either, unless it was to comment about how great a particular body part of mine was.

Anyways so after the breakup I was feeling particularly un-pretty, and fuck that shit, no one makes me feel unattractive but me. So this weekend was all about me bringing my sexy back. It was a four step process:

Step One: Buying new underwear at Victoria Secrets. I don't know what about shopping at Victoria Secrets makes me feel so much prettier, but I'm pretty sure their underwear could make a hippo feel sexy. Bathing suits make me feel liked a beached whale. VS underwear makes me feel like I could strut on a runway, go figure. Anyways my shopping spree just happened to coincide with their 7 for 26 sale. Lucky Me!


Step Two: Haircut! I love my hair but I have often complained about how completely insane it makes me. I mean I have Shirley Temple hair and it completely has a mind of his own (I call him Steve). I try to keep it short, even though guys hate short hair, simply because the longer it gets the more I look like an extra in the Lion King. Anyways it was time to get my spring cut and I feel like I lost 2 inches and 40 pounds with my haircut.

Step Three: Whore Red. So it's pretty common knowledge that I dye my hair red (whore red says Nugs, Hot Tamale says the dye box). I really don't like myself as a brunette, I don't really think it fits me or my personality at all. So I've been going the same shade of red since high school, and I just realized today that Scarjo in the Avengers totally stole my look. I won't lie, I am not as sexy as her though.

Although we all know what I'm going to be for Halloween now


Step Four: Poolside! One of the drawbacks of living at the beach is that you never see it. For the last couple years I've worked waiting tables which means by the time I get out of bed most days its time to go back to work. But this year with the new job I am going to be tan, dammit. So I laid out Saturday for an hour and promptly got slightly toasted. I look a little like a baby lobster right now, but whatever it should be faded by tomorrow and I'll have a nice base tan.

Anyways one weekend of taking care of me and I already feel sexier. This bitch is bringing sexy back! So what makes you feel sexy?
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