Who Ordered the Clown?

So we all know that I work as a waitress in a seafood restaurant in Myrtle Beach. I feel pretty confident saying that and knowing any pyscho-stalkers out there would have to search through like 100 seafood restaurants before they would find me. That being said we book a lot of parties at my restaurant. We've done everything from wedding receptions to prom dinners to birthday parties.

I tell you all that as a preface to this story: Saturday night we had a bachelor party booked. Now my genius managers gave the bachelor party to one of our (few) male waiters, which makes no sense but whatever. The party arrives and the guy running the show pulls my coworker aside. He says "listen the groom doesn't like clowns and neither do some of the other guys. So I hired this clown to come sit and join the party. The other guys don't know. We're going to tell them that this clown is a regular at your restaurant."

So about twenty minutes later this sad hobo looking clown strolls into our restaurant, promptly waltzes down the stairs, pulls up a chair and sits across from the groom. The entire waitstaff is watching this from atop the stairwell just dying laughing. I mean management and members of the kitchen crew are all standing on the stairs looking down to where this bachelor party is seated, cracking up.

The bachelor party, however, has no idea whats going on. Some of them are laughing, some of them are getting pissed off but only the one guy had any idea whats going on. The groom is short of interrogating this clown, who's not answering any questions. My coworker for his part asks the clown if he wants his usual drink. The clown leaves for a few minutes and heads to the bar where we got that picture. The clown came back down some time later where one of the guys got really heated with him and so the clown left.

The rest of the night was spent lying to the bachelor party. They kept coming up and asking us if the clown really was a regular and how often he came in. If he ever sat down with the tables before. Every single member of my staff was pretty much lying to this bachelor party with a straight face. I told them that the clown came in all the time, sometimes he made balloon animals for the kids and that he works in the area as part of the performers. I think I even mentioned a stilt walker coming in with him sometimes. I mean the story just kept getting more outlandish but these guys were drunk so they couldn't tell we were lying anyways.

The best part is the guy in charge had hired the clown for the night and had already sent the clown along to the next venue, a club they were going to. I wish I could have been there when the bachelor party ran into the clown at the club. I wondered how long it took before the party figure out the joke....

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Things I'm in Love with Right Now

Okay, the new apartment is great and I promise I will show you pictures once its all set-up and I get the boxes out. Since I am devoid of things to blog about right now, I thought I would share the things I'm in love with right now.


5.  Turtle Chex Mix- omg YUMMY. I'm starting to live on this shit.  I go threw a bag in about two days. I blame Lorraine for this.

4. Up All Night by Blink 182- I love this song. Its like on constant rotation on my Ipod. I didn't know how much I missed Blink 182 until this song came out. It was like, oh yeah where the fuck have you been for the last 5 years? The bands grown considerably and so have I, but the music still speaks to me the same way.

3. 2 Broke Girls- If you have ever worked in a restaurant ever, you need to watch the first 2 minutes of this show. You will be able to relate and also go "damn I wish I could say that." I mean I love Kat Dennings anyways, but i totes love her more now. In fact let me make it easy and embed a clip for you. Watch, laugh, love this show.

2. Artoo-Potatoo- I bought him off ebay as my first housewarming gift to myself. I mean look how cute he is!  I haven't gotten him yet, but he's going to sit on my desk and be my muse for all my writing ventures.  I'll be getting the C3PO version sooner or later, because you have to have a matching set.

1. Christian Siriano Shoes for Payless- Specifically his black pumps. OMG so fricken cute. It just so happens I don't own a pair of black pumps and my pair of black peep-toe slingbacks are in desperate need of retirement. I have been to every payless within an hour of my apartment trying to find these babies (for the records that only 2 stores) and one store didn't even have the Siriano line and the other one had them in size 9 and 10 but not 9.5 (which is of course my size). Thank god for online shopping!

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Life Updates and Other Bullshit (Part 2)

So yeah remember that last update about all the shit going on in my life? Well now I'm glad I didn't promise to come back to blogging soon because I managed to fall off the face of the planet for another 3 weeks. Gravity sure isn't doing its job recently, ya know?

Well at the end of the last post I said I hoping to move out of my parents apartment? Well like 3 days later I found, looked at and rented an apartment. I literally saw the ad on craigslist, did a walk through of the apartment and moved in on the next day. I move quickly; mostly cause living with my parents, sisters and 3 obnoxious dogs was driving everyone crazy.

Baby Sis is ready to move with me!

 Well the last 3 weeks have mostly consisted of me working like 80000032 hours waitressing, another 30 writing for my other job, and the remaining hours trying to move into the apartment (and also that sleep thing occasionally). Which the apartment is on the motherfuckingthirdfloor so the moving has left me ridiculously exhausted and incredibly bruised. I wish I could show you how bruised my legs are. I've seen dalmatians with less spots than me.

Sadly this moving has left me without TV and Internet for the last 3 weeks. Its been a hard 3 weeks too. I live in the internet and I was going through withdrawals, but happily that has been fixed! And not a moment too soon because my writing job requires me to have internet, so I was tapping into my neighbors internet which was a pain-in-the-ass. 

No food either, this was my fridge until earlier today

If nothing else the new apartment has been great. I can sleep in. I don't have either of my sisters waking me up screaming at 6 am (or jumping on my bed with me sleeping in it). I don't have to fight anyone for the remote control and no one cares if I dance around in my underwear.

Nixon and Kennedy are liking it too

Just as a closing side note: remember that friend I was supposed to move to Charlotte with who backed out (if you don't scroll down and read the last post)? Well his girlfriend broke up with him (over a really stupid thing) two weekends ago; 10 days before the day we had intended to move to Charlotte on. The irony is hilarious.

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