Monday, July 18, 2011

We Will Now Return...

.... to our regularly scheduled posting. Sorry everyone, i kno,w I have been super MIA recently, but i've had a lot of stuff going on in my life. Stuff such as:

1. Work has exploded- the thing about working in a tourist trap as a waitress in the middle of the summer is- you're fucking busy. I went from working 25-30 hours a week to working like 37-42. I mean i had a 4 day stretch where i worked 36 hours. When you work a physically demanding job like waitressing (my restaurant has 3 levels) by the time you get off work all you want to do is sleep or get drunk or both. I've been doing both.

2. A New Project- I'm super excited about a new project i have been working on with my best bloggy buddies. I can't really tell you too much about it just yet, but we're working on it and It should be going by august. I'm super totes excited about it.

Anyways I've got some updates and shit to do right?

 Giveaway winners are:  Garnet and Kris. So if both of you will email me your addresses at I promise to get your prizes out in a more efficient time than i did announcing the winners (sometimes, i suck yo)

Okay, so anyone who follows my twitter, (and you totes should) might have seen me and several of my buddies get into a discussion with another blogger about something they wrote (who has their comments disabled). Trying to discuss this with her via 140 character was entirely fruitless because i could never clearly make my point. So dammit i am going to do it here. This is an actual screenshot of what she wrote on her blog. I'm not going to call out the blogger because I don't want to start a war over something so trivial, but i do want to fully explain my position.

I'm sorry if that is too small for some of you to read, but the part i really take problem with is this "A woman who says "no" 30 times and eventually acquiesces to sex because it's apparent "no" is just not being heard by this guy has been no less violated than the woman in the alley."

Wait.... what?

No, No, NO. That is not at all even remotely similar at all. If i choose to let a guy harass me into having sex with him, its still willfully my choice. He didn't toss on a bed and force me to have sex with him. He didn't roofie me and take advantage of my position, he didn't attack me, drag into a back alley and have sex with me. If I said yes to him asking me to have sex for the 300th time, I still said Yes. I still allowed it and gave my consent even if it was just to shut him up. To compare that to rape is beyond wrong and it trivializes what rape actually is.

I tried to explain this to the blogger who wrote it and her (albeit condescending remark) was that I must have never been in that position. Um, Yes Bitch I have. I've been drunk at bar and had guys try to take me home to the point of following me out to my car. I've had them ask and beg and plead. I've had to pry their hands off of me. I've had guys harass me through the internet to show them my boobs or to come to their houses. Every girl has had this problem, guys do this shit and think its okay. It's not okay. We shouldn't have to tell them no 50 times; we should only have to tell them once. But when they don't listen you tell them off, tell them to leave, leave the situation yourself, or threaten to call the cops. You do not give into them harassing you for something and they say its like rape.


The woman chooses to stay in that position with the asshole harassing her and she chooses to give into that harassment. A women being brutally raped in a dark alley didn't have any of those choices. She was taken against her will and force to have sex without her consent for any of it. She didn't have the choice to call the cops or leave the apartment. To even equate the two things is mind-numbingly ignorant and treats rape like it is some trifling, inconsequential event.

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