Friday, May 6, 2011

The Birth of Tits (Part 3)

So this story actually takes place months before i was born, but it still works mmmmkay?

My mom had this psychic 6th sense about me. She knew i was going to be a girl even though the ultrasound had proven inconclusive. She had these pink clothes picked out for me and didn't even have a boys name picked out. She also was adamant that i was going to be born May 1st, 4th or 5th, even though her due date was until like June 8th. She kept telling everyone that i was going to be born on those days and everyone else was wrong... and she was right. I wonder how long it took before she let live in down that she got it right (answer: never, she's still going on about it).

But my name was a whole different battle. My father wanted to name me Patricia.

I'm gonna let that sink in for a moment

Patricia?

Okay. Nothing against the name Patricia. I'm sure there are many lovely amazing girls out there named Patricia and its a sweet name. But it is not a name that in any way suits me. I feel like with the name Patricia I would be even more of a complete nerd than i already am.

My mother listened to this suggestion and was (and this isn't a direct quote but its probably what my mom said) all "NO WAY IN FUCKING HELL ARE YOU NAMING MY KID THAT."

My mom had other options for my name. I'm not going to tell you what my actual first name is cause i still like the thin layer of anonymity I have on this blog, but i will tell you where she got the name from. My 16 year old mom was laid out in bed, pigging out on french fries with brown gravy and chocolate, and not in HS cause you know 16 year old pregnant bitches don't go to high school. She was watching tv. More specifically she was watching Little House on the Prairie. Yes, the old timey show with Michael Landon about a girl on the prairie in the 1870s.

The episode in particular she was watching was where Carrie (the 3rd sister) is heartbroken because her father is so far away and her dog dies and no one pays any attention to her. So Carrie creates an imaginary friend to play with. Well I guess people tease her so the imaginary best friend runs off, and so Carrie runs through the hills of the prairie yelling for her imaginary friend. My mom thought it sounded so pretty this girl yelling the name looking for her friend, so that's what she decided to name me.

So yes, I am named after an imaginary best friend from Little House on the Prairie.
All of these stories are mine except the ones that aren't. Pictures are property of their creators. Powered by Blogger.