Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Stop Pissing Me Off

So there are a number of things pissing me off recently and i started this blog to vent, so dammit I'm gonna motherfucking vent.

1. I'm so tired of people and their blanket statements about political parties. Seriously, all liberals are not tree-hugging, gay, minority baby-killers just like all conservatives are not homophobic, racist, ignorant gun owners. I mean I dare anybody out there to find a conservative that is all "i'm going to litter because i don't give two shits about the environment" or a liberal that says "we should abort all babies because the human race should die off." Blanket statements just make me want to punch puppies because they are so ignorant and ridiculous. Seriously, stop- they just make you look foolish.

2. Shitty Tippers. Listen you motherfuckers, I work for 2.13 an hour. That's way way way under minimum wage. I don't complain about that so much cause its the way it works. But for you douchebags to tip less than 10% just makes me want to crotch punch you. Lets do a little math here. If the check is $100 bucks then 10% is 10 dollars. Of those 10 bucks I have to tip out 3 to my busser/food runner/bartender, leaving me a net of 7 dollars.

And I've been getting a string of shitty tippers at work recently, most of the Canadian, European, general American douchebag kind. But seriously I got 5 on $93 check, 13 on $147 and 5 on $70, I lose money on those tables. I mean i am basically paying for those people to eat in my restaurant. There is a reason that tips should be 15-18%. The other day i got a string of all of them and i just wanted to curl up in the fetal position and cry. I can't afford dog food on some of the tips i have been making. I can't wait for the summer season to start

Also if you go to a restaurant and run up a $125 bill and then pay 75 dollars on gift cards, you still need to tip on that initial 125 dollars. I still have to tip out based on that 125 dollars, so even though you might have only paid 50 bucks, leaving me a 7 dollar tip is still going to make me want to string you up by your toes and throw tomatoes at you.

3. Gas Prices- i know there is like a bunch of unrest and uprisings in the middle east, but dammit that is not an excuse for OPEC to be raising my gas prices.  $3.50 a gallon is beyond too much. I'm old enough to remember when i got gas for .98 cents a gallon. I can't afford to get gas with the shitty tippers i am getting right now!

4. People who type like this:
"damn ur beautiful wuz gud can i get to kno u. do u like blk guys. i just move to [redacted] from jersey u should def gimme a chance to get to kno u sexi hit me u eva cum to da [redacted]"
 This is an actual message sent to me on OKCupid. I mean i'm flattered that some guy think i am beautiful but I have no fucking clue what he said after that. I'm pretty sure this isn't English, its not even Ebonics, its just a bunch of letters randomly thrown onto a computer screen. I am impressed that he managed to use periods, even though they were not used properly. But yeah, he won't be getting a return response.
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