Friday, January 21, 2011

Its Restaurant Wars Bitches!! (TC 8.7)

I had a bad feeling about this episode before it even aired. I mean restaurant wars is always rife with problems and personality clashes but i never expected such a blow away. But lets start at the beginning.

QUICKFIRE: The chefs were taken to Le Bernadin to watch Justo Thomas cut and portion fish in like groundbreaking time. I work at a fish restaurant and i watch the chefs butcher fish daily, Justo made it look easy. Anyways the chef's had ten minutes to butcher and portion a cod and a fluke. Which is a whole two minutes longer than it took Justo, meaning some poor suckers weren't going to finish.

Among the unfinishers was Hootie-Ho Carla who didn't even get through one fish, and other Tiffany who, although she works in a seafood restaurant, sliced her fish the wrong way. In the top was Pissed-Off Asian Dale, Professor Blais, Everyone Hates Marcel and Douchebag Mike.

The top four were given 45 minutes to make a dish from the un-portioned parts of the fish, basically all the shit you don't normally want to eat: the heads, fins, collars, etc.  At this point my mom goes "well Dale is going to win" cause you know he's Asian. Yes, its a little bit racist but hey he still won! For the record all 4 dishes sounded disgusting. I probably would have order Marcel's only because i didn't know any of the words he used in his dish.

ELIMINATION: It's Restaurant Wars Bitches! Because Dale won he got to choose the other team captain and since he hates Marcel and doesn't want to work with him, choosing him was the logical course of action. They divided up into teams like this:
  • Team Marcel: Everyone Hates Marcel, Douchebag Mike, Russian Bride Angelo, Hand of Death Antonia, and Other Tiffany
  • Team Dale: Pissed-Off Asian Dale, Professor Blais, Tre, Hootie-Ho Carla and Italian Sausage Fabio
From the outset I knew Marcel was doomed. He picked people not exactly known for working well together. In a twist, the diners would eat at both restaurants and decide the winner this time. By the time planning the menu had started Team Marcel was in the weeds. Marcel in his control freak ways was trying to dominate the discussion causing his teammates to get pissed off. Over on Team Dale, things were going swimmingly. Professor Blais seemed to be taking fun and quirky to a whole new level with ideas like Tuna in a Can.

Onto the actual competition: The chefs had to cook outside. Marcel tried to help his teammates and they didn't listen. He tried to lead the team (not in the nicest way) and they blew him off. It became apparent that Douchebag Mike was not going to listen to Marcel regardless of what he said. Antonia not so much either. But instead of just going with it Marcel tried harder to be bossy, which never makes the situation better. Other Tiffany floundered at front of the house, she tried- she just didn't know what she was doing. On the otherside, Fabio ran the best front of the house I have ever seen on Top Chef. I mean he made it look easy.

In a blow away only 17 out of 76 diners picked Team Marcel, making Team Dale the winner in a landslide. They called in Team Marcel to judges table and his team promptly threw him under the bus for not being a leader, which if he had tried to do and they had all blown him off.  But it didn't matter, he was team leader and he was bound to go home from the outset, which makes me sad because i love Marcel. He is an asshole and cocky but i still find him likeable, which is more than i can say for Douchebag Mike and Pissed-off Asian Dale.

I don't remember much from Judges table for the winners, I was too distracted by the funny wing things on Padma's shirt. I mean she either looked like she was trying to take flight, or make her shoulders look Dynasty-huge. Either way not a good look for her.

WINNER: Professor Blais

OUT: Everyone Hates Marcel (the Hand of Death Antonia Strikes Again)

**Quotable**
"I don't have time to bleed"- Italian Sausage Fabio

"If your redneck cousin won the lottery what would he do with his caviar- dip it in ranch dressing"- Professor Blais

"Prison breaks are organized with more efficiency and teamwork"- Anthony Bourdain
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