Rejection... and other things i suck at

I'm about to tell you a deep dark secret....

...I do not do well with rejection. Shocker, I know. I seem to have it so well together right? (I can hear you snickering).

Listen, I will be the first to admit that I am an ardent perfectionist. I expect myself to be perfect 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I do not accept failure or defeat.

So when i am faced with those i do not do so well. I run the gambit of emotions: worthlessness, anger, contempt, self-loathing. Basically, i throw myself the worlds biggest pity party complete with Peanut Butter M&M's (or whatever chocolate is within arms distance).

The thing is I firmly believe that everything is within my own control. That every time i get rejected from a job- its my own fault. It couldn't possibly be because someone was more qualified or because i was up against 500 other people. No, it has to be my fault. I should be more qualified, or I should know how to use program XYZ. I go over every minute of the interview, questioning and re-questioning everything i said, everything i did, every face the interviewer made at me.

I feel for my friends, especially G-Fab, who has to talk me down from a complete meltdown every time i am rejected from something. And its happened a lot lately. Since February I have been rejected from 6 PhD schools, 30 jobs and by 2 guys. That's a lot of rejection to take in five months. I'm starting to think I'm the worlds biggest screw-up.

Yes, I realize that this is counter-productive and that I do not actually control everything and everyone in the world. I also realize that good things come to those who wait, but patience is not a virtue i was blessed with. I'm very much a type A personality. I need a plan, a schedule, a course of attack, basically i need something to do. G-Fab suggested I take up a hobby and i have. But i hate not knowing where my life is going. I hate feeling like things are out of my control. And i hate waiting...

On the bright side, things can't get too much worse for me- so things have to start looking up soon. Just bear with me in the interim

Keep Reading >>>

SUNDAY PIC: Isn't a war going on?

Isn't a war going on? Where did they find the costume?

Keep Reading >>>

The Non-Date Date or Epic Fail

So I was reading one of my favorite bloggers, Nando, and he had a really interesting post about Non-Date Dates. And then i realized, holy shit I've been on a non-date date! So i figured i would share the story here.

Alright, to start this story i have go way back to September. I was on Facebook and got a friend request from a guy who was a friend of a friend. Now, i don't normally accept friend requests from people i don't actually know like in-real-life, but i accepted him and asked if we had actually met. He told me we had at a bar in June. Now i remember being in said bar in June with said mutual friend, so i believed him, but it didn't bode well for him that i didn't remember meeting him. From September to December, Facebook boy kept asking me when i was going to invite him over to my apartment for drinks. To which i replied, "I don't know you so if you want to get a drink with me, you can do it in a bar like a normal guy." He apparently didn't appreciate that.

Anyways after December, FB Boy fell off the face of the planet at least in terms of talking to me, which was perfectly fine with me as I was working on my master's thesis. Anyways, he reappeared in late May and then on a Wednesday night he asked me to get a beer with him at a bar on Thursday. I was hesitant but i ultimately said, "Sure, but i don't really drink beer." To which he replied, "Don't like the taste or don't want the calories?"

Okay, STRIKE 1 for him. I found that to be a really tacky and rude thing to ask a girl. It's like asking them if they think they are fat. I, being a smart, pretty, fun girl, was turned off just by the question but i overlooked it. Anyways, the goober didn't give me a time to meet him at the bar. So Thursday comes around and i still don't have a time to meet him, but I'm not about to ask him because if he's that much of a dumbass he doesn't deserve to have a drink with me. He ended up FB messaging me later and I finally relented and asked what time he wanted to meet me or "did he expect me to wait around at the bar for 3 hours for him?" To which he responded, that he didn't know what time he was going to be there and that he could call me when he was going.

STRIKE 2. Okay, what the fuck? What kind of guy asks a girl to have a drink with him and then doesn't know when he wants to meet you? By this time, i didn't even consider this a date. I considered this taking pity on a guy that has no idea of proper protocol. So after conferring with a guy friend of mine, I told FB boy that "no, i would call him when i was on my way to the bar." So i was out running errands and about 9:30, I made my way over to the bar and texted him that i was heading to the bar. The convo then went like this:

Me: I'm heading to [bar name] now.
Him: You're going to the bar alone?
Me: I'm a big girl, I don't need a babysitter. But you are free to join me since this was your idea.
Him: I'll be there shortly

FB boy arrived just after ten and ordered a beer. I tried to have conversation with him but after the first three times I started to tell a story only to have him cut me off, I stopped even bothering. We proceeded to have random awkward conversations between him playing around on his Iphone.

Which was STRIKE 3, I can put up with a lot of shit. But i have no problem holding a conversation and loves sports. If your Iphone is more interesting than me, the problem is you. By the middle of his second beer, he finally started getting interesting and relaxed a little but by then I was over this whole ordeal. He kept mentioning going to another bar, but I had stopped drinking after my first Malibu and pineapple. Around midnight, he decided it was time to leave and we got outside and he seemed to think we were going somewhere else. I kept waiting for him to make a decision but after like five minutes- I pulled the plug on the whole thing. I can't stand guys that can't make a decisions. If they can't decide on simple things, how will they ever be able to make hard decisions- like marrying me.

So i called it a night, FB boy didn't make any sort of move to hug or kiss me, which was probably for the best. I went home to play with my dogs who at least pay attention to me. Was this a date? I still have no idea what this guy was originally shooting for, but either way he totally blew it. I won't be agreeing to another non-date date or anything else.

Keep Reading >>>

SUNDAY PIC: Daughtry Concert

So normally Sunday Pics don't come with text, but I'm changing it up this week. Last Friday (6/11) UNC-Sis and I went to see Daughtry in concert.  We're both big Daughtry fans; we both own both albums. I've been a fan since he was on American Idol. We had gotten this tickets way back in February on pre-sale before they were open to the public. We were in row R; I mean i could see the tattoos on the band


Anyways Cavo (a fairly new rock band) opened and they were pretty good. Then Lifehouse came on, who we also love. Lifehouse's singles make them sound like a pop band. but they actually rock pretty hard. It was kinda awesome. Finally, Daughtry came out and the crowd went insane. I mean Daughtry is a hometown boy; he grew up less than 100 miles from where the concert was being held. So having him back in NC means the crowd had to show him some love.

Anyways, People give my sister and I a lot of crap for liking Daughtry. It's the same reason people use for not liking Nickelback. "All their songs sound the same." Well, duh. They are a rock band, of course all their songs sound the same. Ever heard a a Def Leppard song sound like anything besides a Def Leppard song? Plus, when a band changes its sound then its all "they sold out." Heck, every time Fall Out Boy released a new CD it sounded different every time they were cries of "You sold out to the establishment!" You can't have it both ways. A band can't sound different every time and not be told their selling out. So i think both arguments are stupid.

Keep Reading >>>

On the Road Again

So my graduate school career is over. It's a weird feeling knowing you've accomplished what you set out to do and have no idea what is next. I mean its another chapter in the Book of My Life (vol 3) closing.

So I am gearing up to move out of my apartment at the end of the month. I am a master packer. I may have mentioned before that i am a military brat and I've moved a fair amount of times (7 cities, 3 states, 15 houses/apts). So packing up my tiny apartment takes like no time. If i was really needed it done quickly, I could pack up this entire apartment in 3 days. But I'm not moving that quickly right now. I'm trying to enjoy my last few days in town with my friends/dogs/freedom.

The worst thing is i don't even know where i am going yet. I have a job interview on Monday (there will be a post on that later) and that job starts July 1st, which means i could be moving to that town. More than likely I will be moving in with my parents for a few weeks/months until i get a solid job and can move somewhere on my own. Listen, living with my parents is no picnic, as exhibited by previous posts. Lil' Miss Sis and Baby Sis are babies and its hard living with little kids when you aren't used to it. Then there is the fact that my dogs don't get along with my parents dogs. Then their is my allergy to my parents cats. Then there is the fact that i will be sleeping on an air mattress in Baby sis's room, while she's sleeping in my parents room. I mean its not a picnic for any of us. So lets hope i get a job soon and get out of that before we all lose our minds.

Anyways if i go MIA for a couple weeks now you know why.

Keep Reading >>>

Adventures in Potty Training

So every year my Stepdad takes his students to camp (he's a HS JROTC instructor- its his thing) and my mother is left alone with Lil' Miss Sis (age 3) and now Baby Sis (age 4 months). My mother isn't exactly old, but she's not getting any younger either. This year I happened to have a job interview in the area right as he was leaving for camp. So my mother convinced me to come stay the week to help assist her. I'm the dutiful daughter, i can't really tell my mom no. Plus, I'm kinda broke so staying with my mom means mooching off her food (i don't promise to be a good daughter).

Anyways, little did i know that this was the week my mom decided to start potty training Lil' Miss Sis. She has been waiting for her preschool to let out for the summer to begin. I may have mentioned before that Lil' Miss Sis is autistic, she functions pretty well but she's like super OCD. So potty training is going to be no small feet.

Let me jump in right here and say I am 26 years old and I don't have children for a reason. I barely function as an adult taking care of myself let alone anything else. My poor dogs give me nothing short of a nervous breakdown most weeks. So the idea of children- terrifying.

So my mom's brilliant idea to potty train Lil Miss Sis is to take away her diapers, so that she has to go to the bathroom. This resulted in a lot of screaming, crying and temper tantrums. Also including my mother sayings things like:
"Do you need to go pee-pee in the potty"
"Elmo's sad you didn't go in the potty"
"Is you underwear wet?"
"Pee- Pee in the potty, Pee-Pee in the potty"

Lets just say after the first 3 hours of my mom saying this with my sister either screaming or crying or pitching a fit, I was ready to chop off my own ears. This coupled with countless hours of watching the Backyardigans and Baby Sis crying, screaming or otherwise being a baby was enough to send me into hiding.

By the end of Monday i was ready to get drunk and forget all of this happened. Then Tuesday happened and it was more of the same. Lil Miss Sis peed on her bed (during the day) and pitched a crying fit, peed her pants and screamed and the endless cycle started again. I actually volunteered to run to Wal-mart and pick up stuff just to get out of the house (I wasted 2 hours there). By Tuesday night I was literally lying in my parents bed in the fetal position, rocking back and forth while trying to watch the Proposal and blocking all thoughts of the last 2 days out of my head. This is exactly why i am not ready to have children. I think I've been scared for life.

Keep Reading >>>

We're A Bunch of Drunk MF'ers (Part 2)

Alright, when we last left off with ACC's wedding, we thought she might kill the DJ.

So dinner was served and we ate and then the dancing started. By this time i had already had a rum and coke, a margarita and some champagne. So we were all dancing, don't ask me to what anymore because i cannot remember all the songs that were played. Then ACC, myself and the graduate school crowd headed out to the open bar for shots. ACC walked right through a puddle of something in her white wedding dress. Someone (I don't remember who now) tried to pick up her dress to make sure it didn't get dirty to which ACC responded "I'm never going to wear it again, who cares?" Also by then i was no longer wearing shoes- Those things hurt like a Motherfucker!

I don't know what shot we had. My friend just told the bartender to make something "yummy." It tasted like fruit juice i remember that part. Then we headed back for more dancing and then back outside for another shot- this time of tequila. I got half the shot in my mouth before i spit it out all over my dress, the floor and my friends arm. It wasn't vomit- just tequila- so no one was upset. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to get the tequila off my dress. I'm pretty sure it smelled like tequila the rest of the night. At that point i stopped drinking for like 2 hours. Then we were back to the dance floor. The groomsmen decided to sing some song from Top Gun to the groom and they were badly off-key and drunk so it was awful and awesome.

At some point i took a break and Grad Guy (a guy i went to grad school with that was driving with me the next day) was like come on outside and smoke a cigarette. What resulted was a 5 minute argument where i tried to explain to him that i don't smoke while i followed him outside and he tried to keep putting a cigarette in my hand. I didn't end up smoking. The rest of the night was more drinking and dancing until we grabbed the bus ride home.

So everyone staying at the hotel including the entire wedding party, the bride and groom loaded on the 55 passenger bus back to the hotel. Ever been on a bus with 55 drunk people? I have. It was a little insane. People were using the railing to do flips. Everyone kept moving seats. We kept chanting "USA" (half the bus were huge soccer fans). We kept chanting a lot of things. At one point we actually broke out singing "the wheels on the bus" on the bus. Seriously, I almost felt bad for the bus driver. Then we got back to the hotel, changed, and walked to a local bar/club.

Keep Reading >>>

SUNDAY PIC: Who does this to their pets?

From I Has a Hotdog. But really who thinks about doing this to their pet? And what pet lets them?

Keep Reading >>>

Happy Birthday G-Fab!

My regularly scheduled post is delayed to bring you this public service announcement...

So it is my Best Friend in the Whole World's Birthday today. Some of you may know him by his moniker, Geoff the Fabulous or by his own awesome blog. He is officially old 25 years old today. Granted I've only known for about 5 years but i can't imagine my life without him. So in honor of his birthday, I'm going to give you a list of my 25 favorite things about G-Fab.

1. His awesome fashion sense
2. His absolutely insane love life- seriously in the 5 years I've known him he's dated like 3 times more guys than i have, and the gays always have drama. But he recently fell in love with a guy i approve of (which is rare) so i guess the drama is over :(
3. The fact that we can literally start a fight over anything. Power Rangers Vs. Ninja Turtles... and go!
4. His love of pageants and all things with rhinestones
5. His fake lack of knowledge of sports. I mean really how many times can I explain football to him before he gets it?
6. His hypochondria- No, Geoff that does not look like a tumor
7. His deep abiding love for Sweet Tea.
8. That at any given moment he can break out into song from any Broadway musical
9. His tiny little soul 
10. The crap he does to his brother
11. That he can talk me down from any emotional meltdown i am having... and i have them a lot.
12. The fact that he knows what i am thinking before i say anything
13. Talking about what actors we want to sleep with. I'm pretty sure we would tag team Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto from Star Trek.
14. How he's always trying to turn me into a true Southern Belle
15. His random texts when he sees someone famous (boy invest in a camera phone!)
16. Our Project Runway arguments, no one gets more heated about who should have gone home than us!
17. He ate TOFU!
18. Rate the Waiters at Olive Garden
19. Getting me hooked on tv shows, granted i return the favor
20. Random Dance Breaks!
21. His answer for everything- Do It! 
22. His hatred for everything Pennsylvanian
23. That he has to approve all dress choices for me
24. That he can still order a Happy Meal at Mcdonalnds
25. That my life would suck without him!

So Happy Birthday to my very Bestiest Friend!

Keep Reading >>>

We're A Bunch of Drunk MF'ers

Ever spit out a tequila shot on yourself?

Yep, Guilty.

For those of you who don't follow my Twitter (and you should, I'm much funnier and more neurotic in 140 characters) I suppose you need a recap of ACC's wedding.

So Saturday I drove 4 hours through the interior of NC (IE. I looked at motherfucking trees) to get to the wedding because my GPS took me that way instead taking the 40/85 route, which is a little longer but through actual cities. Seriously, folks driving back roads through NC makes me the angriest Jersey bitch ever. Some people haven't learned how to go the god damn speed-limit. Some haven't learned that cruise control is your best friend, and rest don't understand that i am not blowing my horn at you ever 4 seconds because i know you from somewhere MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!.

I finally arrived, picked up my friend from the mall (long story- not really just boring and inconsequential) and headed to the hotel. Because i booked my room late i ended up in a huge-fucking-ass King room. The bed was literally longer than i was and I'm not some petite princess. My friend that i was sharing the room with arrived and we got ready and headed down to the hotel lobby to catch the bus to the wedding. ACC's brilliant mother actually hired a 55 passenger bus to drive us to and from the wedding and the hotel (I love her). Unfortunately, the bus driver got lost and we nearly arrived late, to which i said don't worry ACC is 15 minutes late for everything (seriously she is) this shouldn't be any different.

The wedding ceremony was really short, like 30 minutes and ACC and her fiance kept cracking up during the ceremony which made me keep cracking up. And then the bar was open while we waited for the reception to start, which means everybody started drinking at about 6:30. I finished an entire rum and coke and was moving onto a margarita when the reception finally started. The bridal party was announced and snafu's were made. Apparently the DJ got the songs backwards for the mother and father of the bride and groom, and the Bride's parents hated the groom's parents song choice. Dinner was served at which point, the song "that's what friends are for" started playing and i turned to the lady next to me at the buffet and said ACC's going to kill the fucking DJ.

NO, seriously he had wanted to start the reception with that and she had told him that 80% of her guests were under 30 and she didn't want to hear that song. Luckily, the maid of honor, ACC's sister, ran over to the DJ and got him to change the song before ACC turned into bitchzilla and ripped his head off. But then about 10 minutes later, he brought out a Frank Sinatra impersonator, another thing ACC had explicitly told the DJ she didn't want. I don't know who this fucking DJ is but just because 70% of the guests are from NJ, doesn't mean we all are Sinatra fans and the fact that most of us were barely alive when Sinatra died didn't help his case. Luckily, ACC was several drinks in by then and didn't fling herself at the DJ and Impersonator with dinner knives and stab them to death. You ever had a 5'2 girl in a wedding dress throw herself at you with dinner knives in each hand? ACC's a scary bitch when she wants to be, she's little but she'll fuck you up.

Alright, this post is getting a little lengthy, so you'll just have to hear the rest of the story on Part Two!

Keep Reading >>>

SUNDAY PIC:Don't piss off the computer programmers

And that's why you don't piss off computer programmers. Stolen from Snapbuzz

Keep Reading >>>

Going to the Chapel and...

Nobody break out in conniption fits, I'm not actually getting married. Ancient-Civ-Chick is getting married to her Boyfriend of like eight years. I guess this makes her Ancient-Married-Chick now.  Anyways the wedding is like 4 hours away, so i get the fun job of driving out there for the wedding tomorrow and then driving back on Sunday. My friend, GayJ is puppy sitting for me. I hope they don't kill him, cause clean-up for that is going to be a bitch. Anyways, the driving will suck, but the wedding should be fun. I know a bunch of people that are going and I mean its free food and a chance to look sexy.

Actually my tits

Speaking of sexy, I totally love my dress for the wedding. It's teal and makes me look like Marilyn Monroe, except you know as a redhead. I mean the dress screams look at my boobs, which is never a problem for me cause i kind of think my boobs are amazing. Anyways I've been tanning for the wedding, cause i'm tired of winning Pastiest Guest at a Wedding. I can't help that I'm as white as flour. My family is German, English and Swedish. If that doesn't scream WHITE, nothing does.  Anyways i think my tan has come in nicely (See Exhibit A). Yes, there are still parts that are Casper-colored, but hopefully the dress will cover those parts.

Anyways they're are only two good reasons to go to a wedding (you know besides the fact that you are friends with the bride/groom):

1. Open Bar
2. Random Wedding Hookups

Well ACC didn't fail me, she's totally having an open bar. Its beer and wine, which sucks cause i'm a mixed drinks kind of girl. But i'll just get wine drunk instead. However, the chance of a random wedding hookup is like 10%. Apparently, all the groom's friends are taken and the only two single guys there are going to be ACC's brother, who's in high school, and a friend of ours from grad school. So basically jailbait or a guy i already know. To make matters worse, there is going to be at least 5 other single chicks, so the numbers are totally stacked against me. Oh well, i'll just get drunk, look sexy and hope to find a guy at the after-wedding at the bar across from our hotel. Yes, this wedding has a reception and an after party. Expect plastered stories on monday, or follow me on Twitter @Coyote_Rose to watch me live tweet my failures at this wedding.

Bring On the Booze!

Keep Reading >>>

Setting off the Smoke Alarm

So I may have mentioned once or twice that I think my family is insane. I may have also mentioned that my stepdad spent 20 years in the military and is like Jack Bauer from 24. I might not have mentioned that he loves to smoke cigars. He's been smoking them as long as I've known them. He buys big boxes of them from Nicaragua and has subscriptions to Cigar Aficionado.

I happen to hate the smell of smoke- cigar, cigarette, pot, burning leaves, pizza boxes, etc. I'm just not a fan of anything burning really. Now that you know that, i can start my story. When i was a kid (read 10-13) I used to love to sleep late on the weekends. I mean when you have to get up at like 7 am every morning to walk to school, sleeping till 10 on the weekend is kind of like a perk, right?

Well not to my stepdad. He would decided some time around 9-10 that i had slept in quite long enough. So he would light a cigar and then belly crawl (like military under barbed wire) into my bedroom and fill the room with cigar smoke. So I would wake up to the awful smell of Nicaraguan cigar and then proceed to cough for the next 2 minutes while he would laugh. Now first off, I want everyone to picture a 35 year old man belly crawling into a pink bedroom while smoking a cigar. Everyone got that mental imagine? Good.

Moving on, after a couple times of him doing this I wised up. I started locking my bedroom door under the pretense that it would deter him from doing this. I was wrong. Instead he would lay on his stomach and smoke his cigar and blow it under the door. When this proved difficult, he put a towel across the crack under my door. He would pick up the towel, blow the smoke under the door, and put the towel back down. Thus, trapping the smoke in my bedroom.

This continued for awhile before it became less funny to him. Then he moved on to other ways of torturing UNC-Sis and I, but those are for other posts. I don't know why any of this surprised me. When UNC-Sis was like 4, he would stick my mom's cigarettes between UNC-Sis's toes while she was sleeping and then try to light it.

Keep Reading >>>