Bloggerstock: What's Your Theme Song (UPDATED)

So I decided to do Bloggerstock this month. If you've never heard of it, basically its a blog swap ring. Blogger A sends his post to B, B sends his to C, C sends his to D and D sends his to A. So its basically a big ring. This months topic is: What is Your Theme Song? Sounds easy enough to write about, right? (actually its kinda hard picking one song, but that's for another post).

Anyways I'm hosting Scott or SirBlogabit from Blizblazbliblog. He's a 20-something Physical Therapy Graduate Student from Illinois. He's only been blogging for a few months, but he's totally hilarious. Anyways here is his post:

Ya know, this was real real tough. There are sooooo many good songs; instead of just picking my favorite song I wanted to find one that had real significance in terms of how I live, or would like to live.

After deliberating for several hours I finally settled on a selection. By random happenstance it is by my favorite band, but it is not my favorite song.I figure the best way to do this is to display a series of lyrics, and then explain what they mean to me and how they relate to my being.

And so, I present to you my theme song – “Transparent” by In Flames.

-you may find lyrics here--> "Transparent"

Consume all the obscene
Persuade the most hideous and ugly
Under every pile and stone 

A rebirth, for you to find

-
Ya know the expression, “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade”? I think that is basically the message that is being portrayed here. I like to make the most out of every situation. When I’m presented with an undesirable situation I take it for what it’s worth and relish the opportunity to take a challenge and turn it into something positive. A challenge is a chance for you to learn something new about yourself and add to your repertoire of life experiences.

Freedom is to be able
To go in any direction
So take the uncertain path

-
So, I love this lyric and I really think it personifies my character. I like to do what I want to do when I can do it. I love being presented with a situation with options, make a choice, and run with it. Don’t be boring, don’t always choose the safe path. Choose something in life that you love and pursue your goals. You may not be rich, but you’ll be happy.

One foot in the open
Ten feet ahead
Build your own ladder
And don't lie to yourself

- I think this is pretty self explanatory. Work for what you want, and don’t try to convince yourself something is what you want just because the money is good or because it’s the popular thing to do.

Secrets left above the grave (It's not for one to keep)
You're all so self destructive
Spend more time with the broken (see what became of their mistake)
You know you're lost when you feeltransparent

-
Well, I’m not entirely sure about the first two lines, but I think it means share your experiences with
others so they can better themselves. To me the second two lines are simple: Learn from the mistakes of others and when you feel empty and don’t receive gratification from your everyday life you know you need to make a change.

Be at one with the wind
Even if it's a struggle
Make this your priority

-
If you could squeeze me tightly and drain all my liquids into an ink cartridge then use it to type a message on paper this lyric would be the result. I do my best to keep my mind open to new experiences because I never want to miss out on the chance of a lifetime, I think that is the same message conveyed through these words.

\

Open all your senses
To new impressions
Act like all that was has vanished

-
I think this is a reiteration of the previous set of lines. Keep your mind free and open. Don’t worry about stereotypes you may have gathered. Surprise someone, surprise yourself. In short, I aspire to live my life
without restriction and with as much satisfaction as humanly possible. I like to take chances and make the most out of any situation. The messages within this song are relatively the same. I do my best, but I can’t say I’m perfect. As always, lyrics are up to interpretation. What do you think the take home message from this  song is?

UPDATED: Apparently the girl that was supposed to host mine went on vacay. So now if you would like to continue reading the chain, mine will be hosted at Inside the Mind of Booya.

If you want more info about Bloggerstock or want to sign up for the next one, that can be found here

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SUNDAY PIC: Those Stupid Americans

Stolen from Demonbaby.com but still totally true

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Common Phrases Used in My Apartment

So i say a lot of things in my apartment that make no sense and that no one ever hears but my dogs. So i thought i'd share a few of them:

"Stop Chewing on Her Butt!

Hey! Get back here with my Underwear!

The electrical outlet is not an ice cream cone, stop licking it.

Get Off Me, I am not a wrestling mat!

Stop attacking the blinds!

I don't need your assistance going to the bathroom.

Put down the cellphone, You don't even have thumbs!

She is not a Chew Toy!

You are not an intergalactic missile, stop attacking me!

Get your butt out of my face."

I feel bad for the random people walking past my apartment who hear these things. I'm probably known as the crazy lady who talks to herself in this complex. I just wish the dogs could talk back.

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OPEN LETTER: Dear Creepy Asian Guy

Dear Creepy Asian Guy In My Apartment Complex:

I realize you are a paying tenant in this complex and i can respect that. But please cease and desist from leering at me like you haven't eaten in a week and I some piece of juicy orange chicken. I am neither sweet nor tasty and I will beat the shit out of you. It is a creepy and a little weird to see you ogling me from the third floor balcony as I am getting into my car.

Also, would it kill you to put on some pants? I mean creepy part aside, seeing you standing in like white see-through boxers in broad daylight is something i never needed to see. In fact every time i do see it, i feel the need to wash my eyes out with a Clorox, then baking soda and then more Clorox. I cannot afford to keep buying bottles of bleach at this rate- I have two dogs to support. Do you know how much kibbles 'n bits costs?

While we are on the topic of clothing, finding a shirt wouldn't hurt either. I didn't know pot-bellied Asians existed. I mean it shouldn't come as a shock as there is 7'6 Chinese man playing center for the Houston Rockets. But yet, I still find you an anomaly. I suppose less drinking and leering at women from the balcony and more, I don't know-jogging, might fixing that.

So please, do all the women in the apartment complex a favor and please stop leering from the balcony. Invest in a pair of binoculars and watch us from the window. We won't be able to see you staring at us from the ground and therefore it will be marginally less creepy. But i swear to god if you ever try to touch me, i will shove a fork in your eye while screaming "that's the way we do it in America, Bitch!"*

Sincerely,

The Women in the Apartment Complex

PS. smiling while leering does not make it acceptable behavior. It just makes me think you are plotting to kidnap me and keep me in an underground bunker while saying things like "yes, King of the creepy Asians, i would love to give you a foot massage."**

*Yes, i know i sound vaguely racists right now but i promise this would be the same if it was a creepy pot-bellied white guy wearing boxers leering at me


**Ewww, I hate touching people's feet.

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SUNDAY PIC: All We Need is Elmer Fudd

Actual Pictures from the park behind my apartment:

Seen a few days ago

Seen about 2 weeks ago

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Lies My Stepdad Tells Me

I've always said that my family is insane. I mean we are a quirky bunch, but i realize that I don't really go into it in a lot of detail. Sure, i talk about my mom making my sister and I compete for Christmas presents, or the fact they hide our Easter baskets around the house, or babysitting Lil Miss Sis. But i realize i have never told any of the random crazy shit my stepdad does to us.

Some background info: My parents are obviously divorced. My mom started dating my step-dad (SD) when i was like seven, they married when i was twelve. So he's been around the vast majority of my life. Now SD spent twenty years in the military. Fifteen of them in some sort of special forces unit, jumping out of airplanes, going to third world countries, and living in the jungle. So just imagine Jack Bauer as your step-dad. Its intimidating. The man can kill me with his thumbs!

Also imagine trying to get away with anything with that guy as your parent, and my mom is no push-over either. I used to have to compound lies and have proof to get away with anything. I once bought movie tickets to a movie i didn't go to just to hang out with my boyfriend one night, and they still busted me. Sneaking out of the house? forget it- wasn't happening.

But this is all beside the point. SD used to love to mess with UNC-Sis and I. I mean embarrassing us was his forte. But his favorite thing to do was to tell us some ridiculous lie and see if he could get us to believe it. His favorite time of year to get us? Christmas

Act I:
Christmas time, I'm about nine years old, UNC-Sis is four and SD tells us that because Christmas was supposed to fall on a Saturday this year, the government decided to move it to Sunday. Arguing ensued, where he actually said that the government passed a law to do it.

Act II:
Christmas time, the next year. SD tells us that Toy 'r us has burned down and we won't be getting any presents this year. I argued, being 10 and a wise guy, that if it had burned down it would have made the news, so i was going to watch it tonight. He stated that it was in the news the night before and i had missed it. He continued tells us this until we believed it. I think UNC-Sis might have cried (she was 5).

Act III:
Christmas, two years later. SD tells me they bought me a horse for Christmas (I had been taken horse-back riding lessons at the time) but as they were driving it back to our house it fell out of the trailer and got hit by a car.  I contend that I never fell for this lie. I was 12 at the time, and had already lived through this game twice before. SD contends that i fell for it and was upset for days. But really, at 12, I was smart enough to know that my parents couldn't A). Afford a horse and B). our tiny backyard was not conducive to having a horse. The debate continues.

Now really, what kind of person does this to children? and around Christmas time. I mean, really, this could almost be considered cruel and unusual punishment. The worst part is that SD always found it so funny. He finds it even funnier retelling these stories now that we are adults. I fear for Lil Miss and Baby sis's sanity having to grow up with round two of this.

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OPEN LETTER: Dear NBC

Dear NBC Executives:

First off, thank you for renewing Chuck for a fourth season. Take it from a girl that has sexual fantasies about a threesome with Casey and Morgan, we are grateful. It is the little show that could. No one expected it to get picked up for a second season let alone a fourth. And its loyal fanbase thanks you. I mean what other TV show's fanbase would buy subway footlongs or incite flash mobs to save their show?

That being said, with the recent cancellation of Heroes leaving Chuck at that 8pm Monday time-slot is just irresponsible. You're putting the little show that could up against House and Dancing with the Stars, two ratings behemoths. Add in One Tree Hill and How I Met Your Mother, and its surprising that Chuck is still on the air at all!

I realize you think leaving Chuck at the 8pm slot is good idea because it can be the lead in for the two new comedy shows that will follow it. But how is it going to lead in anything when its up against ratings giants? I mean you didn't move Heroes to be the lead in for Chuck, even though Heroes had much better ratings when Chuck started. Plus whats on at the 9 pm time slot? 24 is canceled, so who knows what Fox is going to put in that slot. Gossip Girl gets decent numbers but its not really a competitor for Chuck. The tail end of Dancing with the stars isn't really competition. That means the only shows its up against is Two and a Half Men and the Big Bang Theory. Both good shows, but nothing like going up against House

So NBC do the responsible thing. Move Chuck to 9pm on Monday. I bet it gets bigger numbers

Sincerely,
The Chuck Fanbase

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SUNDAY PIC: Morning Mom

You were awake right? Can we play now?

This is the face I wake up to every morning, right after he licks my nose.

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Why I Am The Worst Sick Person

So I've been sick the last couple days. I picked up a cold from Lil Miss Sis when she came up for my graduation. She's 3; She doesn't really understand covering her mouth when she sneezes, and she sneezed on probably 70% of my apartment. So needless to say, Sunday I woke up with a sore throat. I've spent the vast majority of the last 5 days crashed out in bed.

But i am awful when i am sick. I don't like being sick and it makes me a grumpy person, and I'm already grumpy half the time. I mean the worst people to get sick are men because they turn a cold into pneumonia and act like they are dying. But second to them, I am the worst person to get sick. Don't believe me? Here are my stages of getting sick:

1. Denial- No, i couldn't possibly be sick. I never get sick, There is no way i am sick. I have x,y,z, to do this week!!!
2. Bemoaning- *whiny voice* I hate being sick. This sucks so much. Why??? *shakes fist at sky*
3. Vegging- I'm gonna keep veg out on the couch, eating and drinking in the hopes that all this extra food in my system will make me feel better. *munch munch munch*
4. Grumpy- fucking shit, LEAVE ME ALONE! Now I'm fat and sick from this shit
5. Elation- I feel marginally better! It must be going away! I could run a mile i feel so much better.
6. Anger- Dammit, I'm still sick! M***** F*****
7. Resignation- it will go away eventually. Where is the couch?

See, I'm like a fricken manic depressive when I'm sick. I should be quarantined to keep myself from taking it out on other people/my puppies (the dogs don't seem to mind so much. They just spend more time sleeping). People should be glad i only get sick like once or twice a year.

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On the Job Hunt

So having finished my masters degree and not getting into a PhD program (all this good stuff can be found here), I am back on the job market.

Blah

One of the perks of job hunting is finding all the ridiculous job posting that are out there. Like this one:

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Best Picture Ever

Best Picture Ever. I love Betty White!

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My Quarter Life Crisis

So what do you do when nothing in your life goes the way you have planned?

PANIC

No seriously. G-Fab will tell you, I have been going through my Quarter-life crisis for like a year now. I left a decent paying job (that i hated) as a bank teller to go back to graduate school because i thought History was my calling. I mean i have always loved it and I'd like to think I'm pretty good at it. Now that I've finished Graduate school and won't be going on to PhD this year, I don't really know what to do with my life.

I still think History is my calling and PhD is where i am going to end up. But i don't know what to do in the interim. I've started job hunting which sucks balls but i have yet to hear back from any of my applications. I have till the end of June to get a job and find a new apartment. Otherwise i have to move back in with my parents, which is something no self-respecting 26 year old wants to do. Plus I'd have to get rid of one of my puppies. *sadface*

It's just really scary having no idea where my life is headed. I'm used to planning everything in advance because i am an anal-retentive, micro-manager, nutjob kind of person. I had all the best laid plans- they just didn't work out. So now i am floating in the void and i have no idea what is going to happen. What if i never find a job? What if i have to go back to waitressing? What if i am still living with my parents when i am 30?

This just isn't where i expected to be at 26 years old. I thought i would be at some great job i loved and married and starting a family. Or at least I expected to be... somewhere. I don't feel like anything has changed for me since i graduated high school. Sure I have two more degrees, but i just don't know where my life is going. I'm still just pushing forward without being able to see the road ahead of me. I don't know what I'm searching for or where its heading. For all i know i could be going down the entirely wrong path. I just feel adrift in life...

Yes, I realize that i am blowing this out of proportion. I will most likely find a good paying job and be just fine. It's just the not knowing that makes me a crazy person...

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How to End Up in the Doghouse

Seen at Wal-mart when I went to buy dog food earlier:

I know a vacuum and steam cleaner were always what my mom wanted for mothers day. You might as well buy her a bowling ball

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I Want the Fairytale

I've spent a large part of my life telling myself I do need or want a relationship. That I am independent enough that those things are beyond me. I'm the same person with or without a relationship, right? If I'm dating someone great and if I'm not great. But I realize the other night: I want the fairytale.

Which means i have to stop dating the kinds of men I date. By that i have to stop dating guys I need to fix, guys that I'm settling for, and guys that are settling for me. I'm awesome and amazing and genuine and I waste a lot of time with guys, when it is so clear that I am someone they are settling for rather than someone they want to be with. I don't want to be someone anyone settles for. I want someone whose going to appreciate me, instead of focusing on the 2 or 3 bad things about me.

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Like sand through the hour glass...

So I'm officially a year older today, kind of a scary thought for me. G-Fab has always gotten on me for not giving myself enough credit for everything i have accomplished in my life. So I thought for this years Birthday post I would list all the things i have done in my life:

• Completed High School
• Performed in a play
• Danced on top of a bar
• Got a tattoo
• Got a belly button piercing (it has since been taken out)
• Won a game of strip poker
• Flew on an airplane
• Taken a cruise
• Been to a foreign country
• 300ft Skycoaster (enough said)
• Adopted a dog
• Received my BA in History
• Received my MA in History (in 2 days officially)
• Given a striptease
• Seen a Broadway Musical
• Visited NYC (statue of liberty, twin towers, time square, etc)
• Rented my own apartment (and lived alone)
• Been to a concert
• Won an Award (resident coordinator's choice)
• Won a Scholarship
• Wrote a 100 page thesis

So yeah, I've accomplished some stuff. Now bonus points to anyone who knows what the title of this post is referring too.

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Baking fits

So I love to bake. Really, I love to cook in general I always have. This isn't to say i haven't screwed up recipies or burnt something because i have. But I find cooking fun, its a method of stress relief for me.

That being said I don't do it that often. Why? because it never fails that any recipie I make I somehow effectively make twice as much as its supposed to make. If a recipie says 12 cupcakes I make 24. If it says 2 dozen cookies I make 4 dozen. I don't know how or why this happens but it always does. Since i live alone with two dogs, there is really no need for me to have 24 cupcakes lying around my apartment waiting for me to eat them. That is just calories I don't need.

Luckily, I recently realized that a couple of my friends live within walking distance and no male is going to turn down free homemade treats. So in the last month or so i've made: Chocolate Chip Cream Cheese muffins, Chocolate cupcakes with chocolate chip cookie dough centers, Shortbread cookies and I will probably end up making cupcakes with cream cheese icing tonight.

Seriously my mixer has been used more times in the last month and a half than it has in the entire year before. The only problem is graduation is coming up, my friends are leaving and I am going to still want to bake and no one to bake for. Maybe i should find a recipie for dog treats. My puppies would love that!

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Bitches are Crazy

I have lots of friends particularly male friends. This shouldn't come as a shock to anyone. I grew up hanging out with my male cousin and his friends, which were all boys. I can throw a football, hit a baseball, catch frogs, and work a power drill. So it should come as no surprise to anyone that the majority of my closest friends, as an adult, are male. This is not to say i don't have female friends, as obviously I do.

Unfortunately, being a semi-hot female with a lot of male friends means i have to deal with a lot of crazy bitches. I don't mean my female friends. I mean the girlfriends/ex-girlfriends/significant others of my friends. Let me get this out of the way right now. I have not now nor do I ever intended to sleep with a guy that is in a relationship. I'm just not that kind of girl. If a guy wants to be with me, he's gonna have to dump the girl first. That doesn't mean I don't get crazy bitches thinking I'm out to steal their men.

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