Thursday, December 30, 2010

Serve and Spike (TC 8.4)

Listen, I know i was a lazy fucker last week and didn't blog Top Chef, but it was Christmas and i had shopping to do and shit so like please forgive me and all that shit. I did, however, take notes about the show which ended with me screaming "NOOOOO" all pansy Luke Skywalker-style. But we shall get to that, it's just a little bit late

QUICKFIRE: The (gratuitious product placement challenge) Swanson Broth Quickfire to make stuffing with no knives or kitchen tools. Pots were obvi still allowed but not other things. The best part was Italian Sausage Fabio using a wire rack as cheese grater and Hootie-ho Carla using a pot to crush an onion. Anyways a lot of people made stuff that didn't look like stuffing. Carla, Bitchy Tiffany and Casey were in the bottom with Marcel and Tre in the top and Ta-da: Tre wins with Southwestern stuffing with bacon, cheddar and peppers.

ELIMINATION: And then out come tennis canisters with different colored balls. The chefs are divided into two teams (orange and yellow but really i thought those balls looked green) and people from each team would have to go head to head against each other for points at The US Open (hence the tennis balls). First team to 4 points would win and the 4 losing chefs from the other team would be up for elimination.

Teams tried to talk strategy and what they would cook. Carla wanted to make a vegetarian soup which Pissed off Asian Dale ditto think was classy enough, which signaled to me that she was going to win this challenge. Spike and Yellow team on the other hand decide that the Orange team is going to put Professor Blais up first and want to put up there worst dish first so that Orange would waste a point.

Here are the Match ups (Orange vs. Yellow, winner in bold):
  • Italian Sausage Fabio vs. Casey
  • Pissed off Asian Dale vs Bitchy Tiffany
  • Everyone Hates Marcel vs. Russian Bride Angelo
  • Antonia vs. Other Tiffany
  • Professor Blais vs. Sexy Fedora Spike
  • Hootie-Ho Carla vs. Tre
You will note that Jamie (yellow) and Douchebag Mike (orange) never had to go because the Orange team won. However, the yellow team determined that Jamie's dish was the worst from the get-go, because her chick-peas wouldn't cook or something but she flat-out refused to go first, second or any other time. She actually hid behind her cooking station to keep from going. On one hand its smart because you can't get sent home if they judges don't taste your food. On the other hand its totally fucked up to not cook for a cooking competition, and then to get attitude when the other contestants call you out on not cooking TWICE in the first 4 episodes of the show. When its all said and done, she got to stick around for another episode.

WINNER: Hootie-Ho Carla

OUT: Sexy Fedora Spike (which makes me totes sad)

**Quotables**

"Jedi Fucking Stuffing"- Bitchy Tiffany

"I'm gonna crush potato with my head"- Fabio
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