Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Beginning of the Most Uncomfortable Thanksgiving Dinner Ever (TC 8.1)

So okay, there are some really big obstacles in recaping a food show, like the fact that i can't personally taste the food. But Top Chef All-Stars is just too good to give up. I mean lets be honest I am squealing like a fan-girl over some of the people who are back. I mean Everyone Hates Marcel, Sexy Fedora Spike, Casey, Professor Richard Blais, The Italian Sausage Fabio, Hootie-Ho Carla, Russian Bride Angelo, Nice Dale (ass opposed to pissed-off Asian Dale) and Jen. I mean its like a plethora of all my favorites. Now there are people I would love to have back that are not there. I mean Leann Wong can't come back because she works for Top Chef. I don't know why Kevin, Sam or the other Voltaggio Brother aren't on, but I suppose they couldn't have a cast of 25.

Okay, so i am waxing poetic here. Lets get on to the actual show. After a quick recap of who everyone was and why everyone hated them we got onto the Quickfire challenge.

Work in Teams of seasons (like season 2, not season like winter) to make a dish that represents your season's city. Don't worry I didn't remember every seasons city either, so i made a handy list
  1. San Francisco- Bitchy Tiffany and Stephen the Sommelier made a Cioppino Gazpacho. Yes, i had to google Cioppino to find out it was a fish stew.
  2. LA - Everyone Hates Marcel and Whiny Elia created a shrimp taco with an apple wrapper
  3. Miami-Tre, Casey and Nice Dale made a pork tenderloin with habanero
  4. Chicago- Professor Blais, Sexy Fedora Spike, Pissed-off Asian Dale, and Antonia made a deconstructed sausage dog with mustard gelee (less than 10 minutes into the show and Professor Blais has whipped out his liquid nitrogen tank)
  5. New York- Jamie, Hootie-Hoo Carla and Italian Sausage Fabio created a trio of apples dishes.
  6. Vegas- Jen and obnoxious Mike made Buccanti with Bacon carbonara
  7. DC- Angelo and the other Tiffany created a crab cake essence and rockfish soup.
Tom and Padma quickly decided that season 4 had won the quickfire and gave them all immunity. During this there was so intense Marcel- hating by Douchebag Mike. I mean for someone who is generally unliked to talk shit about someone else who is general unliked (except by me) is just ridiculous. BTW, you didn't even make it to the finale of your season, maybe you should get your ego in check, mmmkay? Then covered silver serving dishes came out for each contestant.

ELIMINATION CHALLENGE: Make the dish that sent you packing into a success. Under those fancy covered serving dishes was the exact ingredients that had previously got each contestant kicked off the show. I have to say it was the perfect way to start off the season. I mean some of those dishes had the contestant quaking in their hot black jackets. I mean Pissed-off Asian Dale had to remake butterscotch scallops. I mean the sound of that is just disgusting. So instead of getting to work (cause he has immunity) Asian Dale makes Muffins! Sexy Fedora Spike got frozen scallops.... again, and you can't make those better. Stephen the Sommelier got a trio of appetizers he didn't even make in his season because he was too busy pushing wines.

To make matters even more juicy, the contestants were divided into 2 groups to cook because the kitchen was too small for all 18. Which means the 9 people not cooking got to eat the other groups food and comment while the 9 chefs watched. Of course when the second group came out to eat they had to sit across from the judges who had just lamblasted their food. Which made for some very angry chefs and Bitchy Tiffany to quip "This is like the beginning of the most uncomfortable thanksgiving dinner ever." I'm not going to go into each dish and whose they liked and whose they didn't because i don't want this blog post to be 8000 words. Lets just say that most chefs redeemed themselves. Then came judges tables. In the top were Spike- who managed to make his scallops almost disappear, Angelo- who fixed his watermelon, noodle, pork belly catastrophe from last seasons finale, and Jamie- who had to recreate a dish by Eric Ripert that she hated the first time.

In the bottom were Fabio- whose crawfish and crabstew was too messy and muddled for the judges. Sidenote, does it look like Fabio gained weight to anyone else? Stephen- who didn't cook the first time so had no idea on how to improve the second time around and Elia (who was rocking a pair of green Louboutin's)- that basically made the same dish again.

WINNER: Angelo


**Quotes from the episode**

"Heading into the kitchen, I feel nauseous"- Italian Sausage Fabio

"Interesting- thats like the kiss of death." - Hootie-Hoo Carla

"Did anyone grab that blowtorch?"- Stephen the Sommelier

"Is this the craftiest motherfucker whose ever been on the show" - Anthony Bourdain on Spike
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