Tuesday, November 23, 2010

I'm Not That Impressive

So i tend to be oblivious to things.

I tell you this as a preface to this story.

I was on FB the other night and one of the boys I grew up with chatted me. We'll call said guy Mr. Marine, cause you know he's a marine.  Now some background history, I met Mr. Marine in the 5th grade when he was dating a friend of mine. You know, whatever dating meant in the 5th grade. Sometime after we became friends in our own right. I used to go watch his baseball games and he used to pick me first (well for a girl) in gym class. He had a rotating door of girlfriends and I was, pretty much, the proverbial ugly duckling. I had frizzy hair, acne, glasses and was chubby in the way that i hadn't grown into my own body yet. Seriously, i had all the pictures from this age totally burned; they were so bad.  Anyways, the summer before my sophomore year of high school my family moved, and i lost touch with Mr. Marine. This was before the age of Facebook and Myspace and teenagers having cellphones, you know.

Anyways some years ago we became Facebook friends and such. So a couple nights ago Mr. Marine Fb chats me and we're talking about life and such and he sees a picture of me with my sisters and asks if they are my kids. When i respond with a no, he retorts "Figures, you never let a guy get you."

Wait.... what?

According to him, He had been flirting with me since like the moment he met me. I called bullshit, several times actually, because i don't remember any of this at all. He was adamant though about having flirted with me for several years and me just blowing him off everytime. So i asked why he didn't pick up his balls and ask me out all those years ago. Apparently I'm intimidating or some such nonsense. I don't know how a 5'6 redhead (actually I was a blonde back then) with coke-bottle glasses and an insecurity complex could have ever been intimidating to anyone. But as I've been told i was intimidating before, I sort of just took it at face value.

Now in fairness I tend to be completely oblivious to guys flirting with me. That hasn't changed in 10 years. In fact i have had several ex-boyfriends and other guys tell me that they were flirting with me for sometime and i just don't seem to catch on. I have also had a couple guys that i knew from this particular time period tell me that they had crushes on me (WTF? frizzy haired, glasses wearing nerds were hot back in the day? it had to be my boobs). I'd like to think that i would catch on to a guy flirting with me for 3+ years but obviously i would be wrong.

So i tell Mr. Marine: yeah i tend to not notice that shit.
Mr. Marine: Well i'm flirting with you now, so pay attention
Rose: Oh... Well you're cute but married
Mr. Marine: Nope, divorced
Rose: Oh
Mr. Marine: So when i come home in June, we're going on date and no you can't argue your way out of this.

I couldn't help but laugh. That's what i get when someone knows me so for so long. They know how i am going to react to things. I wouldn't have said no anyways, only because even if the date sucks I get to see a friend i haven't since 1998. Also, for the record: I'm pretty sure I am not the only girl he has been hitting up since his newly found singlehood. But i have to wonder, does a 12 year crush make him romantic or just creepy stalkery? And seriously, I'm not that impressive for anyone to have a 12 year crush on me. I'm still pretty much a nerd.
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