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OPEN LETTER: Pathetic People

Dear Pathetic People Who Stalk My Blog as a Way to Gain Info About People Who Want Nothing to Do With You:

GET. A. LIFE. You are sad and pathetic and need psychiatric care. Reading my blog as a source of info is both ridiculous and disturbing. I'm sure between all the post about: stupid guys i'm fucking, project runway, and the books I'm reading; you are learning so much about the people you are using my blog to stalk. Seriously, wouldn't that time be better spent volunteering at a nursing home, or spending time with people who actually give a shit about you? On the whole, i mostly feel sorry for you because you are incapable of moving on with your lives and have to resort to stalking my blog as a meager way of trying to keep abreast with people who don't give two shits about you.

For the record, I am not talking about you stalky readers. I totes love you guys. I am talking about the people who use my blog as a means of keep tabs on G-Fab, or UNC_Sis or #3 or one of my other friends that i talk about on here randomly. You think i'm joking, right? Nope, people actually use this blog as a source of information on what my friends and family are doing. These people are typically the ex-boyfriends/ex-friends/rejected family members that these people want nothing to do with. So they are using me as a proxy to try and stay involved with them. Which is both delusional and retarded because these people haven't spoken to them in years, and because I am completely self-absorbed and only talk about me on here. ITS MY BLOG DAMMIT!

So please you crazy obsessed stalkers- find another place to hang out. There are enough of you that you could actually create your own self-help group if you wanted. Join Stalkers Anonymous. I don't really care, I just don't want to see your pathetic ISP addresses or location hits anymore. It makes baby Jesus sad.


Thanx,
Coyote Rose

6 People think this post is awesome!:

theTsaritsa said...

People are so creepy! One of my old stalkers found my blog recently and sent me an email about it. Hoping he got the hint when I tole him to "fuck off."

Sara said...

And you do NOT want to make Baby Jesus unhappy.

It's kind of like making Liam Neesan mad... YOU JUST DON'T DO IT.

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

wait- am i the only blogger without a stalker???

this is seriously embarrassing.

Roxanne and Lorraine said...

I almost thought you were yelilng at blog stalkers in general and I got a little sad.

But thank you for clarifying. ;)

I like to keep baby Jesus happy, and all.

Lor

Coyote Rose said...

@Tsaritsa- People are creepy. This is my version of fuck off to those stalkers, cause i don't want them knowing my email. These people just need real lives

@Sara- No, you don't want to make baby Jesus unhappy. It's safer for everyone if you don't

@Lucky- I'm sure you have a blog stalker, you just don't know it yet. Your blog is so awesome you probably have like 4. And if you don't you can have one of my 4, I don't really want them

@Lor- Yeah, blog stalkers in general are cool. Creepy people who know me in a real life and are using my blog to stalk someone else are totes pathetic. I mean how much info do they really learn here?

You're Lucky I Don't Have a Gun... said...

drool @ "Your blog is so awesome"

 
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