Tuesday, October 12, 2010

The Bitchiness Continues (PR 8.11)

Okay, let me be honest here readers: I have become disillusioned with Project Runway. During its heyday at Bravo it was my favorite TV show. I got all giddy and excited for each new season. G-fab and I used to get into fights over which designers we liked better or who should have gone home and now: I'm just waiting for the pain to be over. The challenges are boring (i mean where is the inventiveness- where is the create a costume for a drag queen or out of car parts). The extra 30 minutes of product placement is obnoxious. The judges all took their bitchy pills, and they show is casting people more for drama than for talent. I can't deal with this. If Lifetime doesn't turn this show around, next season my be my last. Anyways onto the show:

Challenge: Create 3 new designs for Heidi's Activewear line for new balance or create 3 new outfits for Heidi's Mommies who are fat after having 3 kids and want to look like they go to the gym without actually going to the gym. I give this negative 2 cornhusk dresses out of 5 because it was basically a challenge to make boring gym clothes for a line of boring ass gray shit.

So because they had to create 3 looks in 2 days, the producers hoping to up the drama on the show brought back former contestants. In previous seasons I  loved this because it gave me a chance to see my favorite booted-to-soon contestants. In this season it just made me want to throw a brick at my TV because it meant that i had to deal with Stalin Ivy and her bitchiness again.

She wasn't there more than 5 minutes before she made a lame accusation about Michael C. using doublestick tape on the Jackie Kennedy challenge. Now it has been a long written rule that designers cannot use doublestick tape to keep their dresses on their models, but the models can use it to keep their bras on. So Stalin Ivy makes this ridiculous accusation that they found used doublestick tape in the girls bathroom and ergo Michael C. cheated. Wait..... what? How does that logic make any sense? I have no idea how that girl's brain works. Anyways, Michael finally grew a pair of balls and told her that he didn't cheat and that at least he didn't get booted for some crappy design. I do, however, love Stalin Ivy's level of delusion. She's mad because she thinks Michael C took a spot that should have gone to her or Valerie. That would have required either of them to produce a garment above the level of garbage for the last 3 challenges and she spent too much time hating Michael C. too produce anything of substance.

Then like 2 minutes later Stalin Ivy got hit in the eye with a needle from a sewing machine. Living proof that Karma is a Bitch and that god is a Michael C. Fan.

Anyways I'm going to rank the designs from "I could see some poor schlob wearing that" to "This makes me want to commit suicide in a really painful way"

  • Mondo- After Frau Klum came in and basically was a bitch to him in the workroom, Mondo scraped his original designs (which really weren't that great to begin with) and came up with 3 really cute and wearable looks. If i was shopping for a new hoodie to wear when i am camping out in line for tickets to a sporting event, I would definitely be buying Mondo's. He did really well for the fact that this challenge took him way way out of his comfort zone with no prints or bright obnoxious colors. Plus the headbands were inspired.
  • Andy- I didn't totally love his designs. They were a little too Lion King Zebras meets Jack Skellington from The Nightmare Before Christmas for me. I thought his tops were cute but some of his pants were really really unflattering. But a fair win overall- I mean Andy has been a favorite of mine since the beginning and I still think he can produce an awesome Runway show.
  • Michael C.- I understand the Judges being all harsh about introducing a bunch of new colors into Heidi's drab gray-black-white color scheme. And yes, the pumpkin, brown and tan did remind me of thanksgiving but really is that such a bad connotation? I mean doesn't all that turkey, pie and potatoes make you happy inside? Or is that just my stomach grumbling. Overall, I thought his pieces were rather good. Sure the MC Hammer pants went out sometime in the 1990s, but he had the best hoodie by far.
  • Chris- Yes, his looks were dull, sad and made me want to give him some of April's zoloft. They were uninspired but i could seem some overweight women with no taste in clothing buying those pieces. But after last weeks tragedy and the fact that he has produced nothing memorable this season, i knew his ousting was coming
  • Hitler Gretchen- Okay Madonna from the 1980s called and wants you to stop ripping off her look. Seriously, midriff tops, high waisted shorts and shirts that are see-through- does anyone wear this shit anymore? It was hideous and awful and goofy looking. The whole collection was weird. And Memo to Gretchen: grandpa sweaters are a no. Half of the ladies from the Golden Girls are dead, please stop trying to make their looks fashionable again.
  • April Melancholy- If it was up to me, this girl would have been gone 4 episodes ago. Everything she does is like a black negligee. Please give the girl some zoloft and a yard of pink tulle. If i see one more sad, depressed piece from her i think i will commit suicide myself. I don't understand why the judges like her- she's a total one trick pony. Plus the clothes are awful. I mean her too short shorts made her model look like she had a bulge. Her dress looked like something made for a toga part. One of her outfits caused my mom to go "I could make that shit." Everything she has made this season is pedestrian, depressing and looks like lingerie. And i don't mean the expensive lingerie you buy from Victoria Secrets, i mean the $25.95 lingerie you get from trashy sex shops where hookers shop.
Winner: Andy

Out: Chris

 Till next week dear PR Friends. I have to go physically stop G-Fab from buying me an awful Christmas present.
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