Thursday, September 2, 2010

Well, That Was Unsexy


So the other day I was dirty talking (or texting) with someone we will just call an ex. And he said something so awful that all i could do was laugh. I mean it was so ridiculous and unsexy that i actually texted him back saying "there was nothing sexy about that last line." Anyways, it got me thinking about all the sexual terms that i cannot stand. I mean some of them are so awful- i don't know who came up with them or why the remain in the vernacular. I mean what is so wrong with the terms penis and vagaina? Lets start with the one that inspired this post:

  • Meat- The actual line was "i'm going to fuck your hole with my meat." Really? I actually sent him a text back stating "Really? will you be fucking me with a salami or an oven roasted ham?" I mean why is this term even allowed. There are like 30 other terms he could have used for his cock that would have been perfectly acceptable. Meat is a term best used at the grocery store.
  • Fun Bags- I don't think there is a girl in the world that likes this term. Yes, my tits are nice but fun bags is just obnoxious. You want to go have fun with a bag? Put a walmart bag over your head and suck in.
  • The Beast With Two Backs- OMG, really? What 90 year old grandma in 1932 came up with this term? ITS. AWFUL. There are so many other terms for having sex: nookie, fucking, making love.
  • Seed- As in "spilling his seed" etc. Seriously, are you a papaya? Some sort of flowering plant? Then use the terms: sperm, semen, little wiggly dudes. Seed is just oh so obnoxious and really annoying.
  • Over-the-shoulder-boulder-holder- Who came up with this term? It's just wrong. No, really its wrong. If it was over the shoulder my boobs would be on my back, not on my chest. So really this term is just all wrong for Bras in general.
That's all i can come with right now (getoffmei'msick) but don't worry i will be updating the list as soon as some douchebag uses another crappy term.

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