Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Project Runway: Is it Nap Time? (8.4)

Michael C's Dress
We interrupt this regularly scheduled Project Runway Recap to bring you a word from our sponsers:

"Dear PR producers: I do not care what the contestants think about the other contestants work. I know you are trying to be like Top Chef and show us what is going on with the designers in the stew room while the judges are making decision, but seriously i don't give a shit. You added 30 extra minutes to the show and added nothing but fucking boring shit. I don't care what Gretchen thinks about Chris's outfit nor do i care about Ivy thinking she should be in the top when she has produced nothing but crap. Don't you listen to the judges on your own show? It's all about editing. Now edit this show back to being one hour and interesting. - Thank you, Rose"

Now moving on...

ChallengeDesign an outfit to go with a Phillip Treacy Hat. Treacy designs the most avant garde hats worn by Lady Gaga and Sara Jessica Parker. I give this 3.5 corn husks dresses out of 5.  If they had to design hats too i would have given it a 5.

Anyways, the designers are supposed to pick models based on what hat they want but what really happens is every picks their model and gets stuck with whatever hat the girl has. Which i think is fucking stupid, its a contest if you like a hat some other model is wearing pick that model! And then the whole show devolved into something that put me to sleep. It's like the editors realized that they haven't shown several designers at all this season and decided to show them all this episode. Unfortunately, its the 4th episode and at this point i don't give a fuck about them. They aren't the people we love to root for (Valerie, Andy, the Michaels) or the people we love to hate (Gretchen, Ivy, Casanova), they are just the people who are there.... and very very boring. I'm sorry i spent the first 30 minutes wondering who the hell Kristen, April and Peach were and then I took a nap.

Mondo's outfit
Luckily, I woke up right before they went to judging so that i could see Mondo's monstrosity of an outfit. He was wearing like a black and yellow oil splotch shirt with a butternut squash colored vest and a black and white polka dot tie.  Then he sent his model down the runway in an outfit he claimed was "menswear inspired" and a mustache. Okay, no girl looks hot with a mustache and then what man wears polka-dot pants with ugly yellow stripping? I've known plenty of gay men and even then wouldn't wear anything this off the wall. Mondo needs to stick to women's clothes and never dress himself again.

So the Runway this week was really really blah. I mean i just felt like everything was either boring or a train wreck. I liked Michael C's Grecian dress but i didn't really see how it fit the hat. I thought Valerie's dress and bolero was supercute and totally win-worthy. Michael D's top looked like cardboard but the skirt was adorable and his hat looked like a fortune cookie. Ivy's top and skirt were boring boring boring. The girl hasn't used color in a single outfit yet this season. It's all neutral colors. Red never hurt anyone sweetie. And she thinks she should be in the top. HA! Also Gretchen was not in the top 3, so maybe she'll stop thinking her shit doesn't stink.

April's outfit
And then there were the train wrecks: Kristen's black and pink dress with orchid hat was something a first year fashion student would make. Hell I'm pretty sure i could make it since she just sewed pink swatches into a black dress. Peach's dress was made of couch fabric and it didn't go with her hat at all. Andy (who i otherwise love) made like a fuchsia suit straight of Dynasty-hell. I mean with that color people on Mars could see that girl. Then there was April's Dr. Suess on crack outfit. The hat is absolutely adorable but April makes a pair of ill-fitting white shorts so they look like adult diapers. The top itself isn't that bad, but it wasn't well made. Personally, I would have sent her home because she could have done anything and she chose to make adult diapers with a boring top.

Winner: Michael C

Out: Kristen
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