Thursday, August 26, 2010

My Hot (Negative) Ass

So for those who don't follow me on twitter  and you should I have gone off and gotten a job. Don't get too excited for me, its just a waitressing job. I know what you are thinking: This bitch has a master's degree and she is waiting tables, WTF? Well its a fucking recession and I'm overqualified for everything. Anyways, the great thing about this place is most of the staff is my age. I've worked with mostly old bitter women in my past restaurant gigs, so working with people my age is a total plus. On the flip side, it means things are a lot crazier and funnier and quirkier.

My first day i was training with this adorable blond sorority girl (seriously i love this chick, she's precious) and she was showing me the ropes when a table of 2 guys a little older than me (late 20s- early 30s) got sat. Now, it wasn't our table it was another girls and i should note: there is not an ugly girl on this staff. Anyways, these two guys are sitting right next to the stairwell that we have to use (because this place has like 3 stories) so my trainer and i are going up and down the stairs and every time we walk past this table these two guys stare at our asses. I don't mean like slyly checking us out. I mean like they stop talking mid-sentence and stare at us as we walk by. Can you say awkward? Also, i don't have an ass, i have like negative ass. So i don't know what they were looking at.

So then over the next few days I met the rest of the staff and such. Anyways, i was rolling silverware on like my second night and the black cook caught the Hispanic cook checking out my ass. I shrugged it off. Listen, i've known i was attractive since i was like 16. It's just that I'm new to these guys. For the next couple days it everytime i got around these two cooks the black cook would make all sorts of jokes about it. Finally, fed up with it i looked at him and said "Listen, I get it- I'm hot. Can we move on now?" Apparently, the black cook thought that was fucking hilarious. I'm hoping they hire some new girl soon, so that my new-ness wears off.

Also, everyone at this job asks me how old i am. ITS. FRICKEN. WEIRD. The convo typically goes like this:
Them: Hi, I'm [so and so]
Me: Rose
Them: how do you like it here?
Me: It's fun
Them: So, how old are you?

I have never had so many people ask me my age in such a short time frame. I don't get it. What does my age have to do with how well i waitress? If these were men I would assume they wanted to know if i was in their age range, but its women asking me this. And to be honest, telling people that i am 26 makes me feel motherfuckingold.


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