Thursday, August 12, 2010

I Dodged a Bullet

 No not like Neo in the Matrix, I dodged a metaphorical bullet.

I had a job interview on Tuesday at a  small publishing company in my podunk town. My first thought was "there is a publishing company in [name of town]?"

Anyways i have never been to a more jacked up interview in my entire life. First, they made me fill out an employment application. This was after they had already ready my resume and given me a brief phone interview, where they asked ridiculous question that they could have answered themselves if they had read my resume to begin with. Fine, i figure they might need an employment application on file if i get the job.

Then the lady takes me into the back and proceeds to hound me for the next 20 minutes. She asks all sorts of weird questions like what my SAT scores were (bitch i took it 10 years ago), If i thought i was good at math (I was a bank teller, i couldn't have been that awful), If i was good at English (uh... i have a minor in English listed on my resume) if i could handle multiple phone lines ringing at once (is this seriously a problem for anyone?). Then she tried to talk me out of the job. Okay. What. the. Fuck. Who interviews people to try and talk them out of taking the job. That seems a little bit retarded.  Apparently, people have walked off the job because its "too hard" and she didn't want to hire anyone that would do that.

Then in the middle of my job interview, someone comes in that she has to speak to. That's fine by me. But she brings them right into the room with me and proceeds to have a 20 minute conversation with this other lady partially about stuff non-work related RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. Color me awkward trying to look around the room so that it doesn't appear that i am eavesdropping even though these two random people are having a discussion in the middle of my job interview.

Then that lady leaves and the lady interviewing me starts getting into the job details. Even though the job was listed as a Proofreading/ Office Assistant job I would be:
  • Answer phones- which according to her ring constantly but i haven't heard the phone ring since i got there
  • Proofreading documents
  • Working with the graphic designer to make sure the layout works
  • Calling/ hounding advertisers to make sure we are running the right ads
  • Maintaining a minimum of 4 excel spreadsheets
  • Updating documents when new info comes in before press time, then proofreading it, sending it back to the client and then proofreading it again.
  • Opening up the office every morning
And this job pays the glorious salary of between minimum wage and 9 bucks an hours. Dude, I can get a hostessing job at a restaurant for 10 dollars an hour, where I won't have to bust my ass or think really. Furthermore, they won't be able to give me a set schedule. They will just tell me the day before if i need to work the next day. Really? because I couldn't possibly have plans like a real person and that i would have to drop things at the last minute so that I can come into work the next day.

By the end of this interview (and subsequently a proofreading test), I was hoping they hired anyone else but me. I'm not in a position right now to say no to any job, but i was really hoping they didn't want me. So Wednesday they called me and I let the phone go to voicemail. An hour later i plucked up the courage to listen, and thankfully they went with someone else, although i was a close number 2 and they are going to leave my resume on file (gag).

So yeah I dodged a big bullet.
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