Monday, June 14, 2010

We're A Bunch of Drunk MF'ers (Part 2)

Alright, when we last left off with ACC's wedding, we thought she might kill the DJ.

So dinner was served and we ate and then the dancing started. By this time i had already had a rum and coke, a margarita and some champagne. So we were all dancing, don't ask me to what anymore because i cannot remember all the songs that were played. Then ACC, myself and the graduate school crowd headed out to the open bar for shots. ACC walked right through a puddle of something in her white wedding dress. Someone (I don't remember who now) tried to pick up her dress to make sure it didn't get dirty to which ACC responded "I'm never going to wear it again, who cares?" Also by then i was no longer wearing shoes- Those things hurt like a Motherfucker!

I don't know what shot we had. My friend just told the bartender to make something "yummy." It tasted like fruit juice i remember that part. Then we headed back for more dancing and then back outside for another shot- this time of tequila. I got half the shot in my mouth before i spit it out all over my dress, the floor and my friends arm. It wasn't vomit- just tequila- so no one was upset. I spent the next 10 minutes trying to get the tequila off my dress. I'm pretty sure it smelled like tequila the rest of the night. At that point i stopped drinking for like 2 hours. Then we were back to the dance floor. The groomsmen decided to sing some song from Top Gun to the groom and they were badly off-key and drunk so it was awful and awesome.

At some point i took a break and Grad Guy (a guy i went to grad school with that was driving with me the next day) was like come on outside and smoke a cigarette. What resulted was a 5 minute argument where i tried to explain to him that i don't smoke while i followed him outside and he tried to keep putting a cigarette in my hand. I didn't end up smoking. The rest of the night was more drinking and dancing until we grabbed the bus ride home.

So everyone staying at the hotel including the entire wedding party, the bride and groom loaded on the 55 passenger bus back to the hotel. Ever been on a bus with 55 drunk people? I have. It was a little insane. People were using the railing to do flips. Everyone kept moving seats. We kept chanting "USA" (half the bus were huge soccer fans). We kept chanting a lot of things. At one point we actually broke out singing "the wheels on the bus" on the bus. Seriously, I almost felt bad for the bus driver. Then we got back to the hotel, changed, and walked to a local bar/club.

More drinking, more dancing, more drunken people. There was one of the groomsmen who seriously was like the life of the party. I could have watched him all night- he was a riot. Unfortunately i am under the impression that all the guys at ACC's wedding were taken (except grad guy, who i know and Acc's underage brother). Plus i think he's the type of guy that has to fight girls off with a stick, cause my other friend was all about him too.

Anyways grad guy got totally drunk and danced with some 40 year old woman. Then bought me and our other friend beer, even though i told him i hate beer about 12 times. Then he started playing cornhole with some of the people at the wedding party. At that point my other friend and I were ready to leave as most of the wedding party had already left. We tried to grab grad guy but he wouldn't leave so we just left him there. Then my friend and i proceeded to get lost in the 6 feet from the bar to the hotel. We got turned around about 3 times (remember we're still drunk) but finally made it back to the hotel like 10 minutes after we left (for a 3 minute walk).

I literally went upstairs and passed out in bed. Yes, I changed first but then i passed out. So ACC's wedding was awesome but no personal gain for me. I didn't get random wedding hook-ups but i did get plastered and had a lot of fun- so it wasn't a total waste.


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