Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Adventures in Potty Training


So every year my Stepdad takes his students to camp (he's a HS JROTC instructor- its his thing) and my mother is left alone with Lil' Miss Sis (age 3) and now Baby Sis (age 4 months). My mother isn't exactly old, but she's not getting any younger either. This year I happened to have a job interview in the area right as he was leaving for camp. So my mother convinced me to come stay the week to help assist her. I'm the dutiful daughter, i can't really tell my mom no. Plus, I'm kinda broke so staying with my mom means mooching off her food (i don't promise to be a good daughter).

Anyways, little did i know that this was the week my mom decided to start potty training Lil' Miss Sis. She has been waiting for her preschool to let out for the summer to begin. I may have mentioned before that Lil' Miss Sis is autistic, she functions pretty well but she's like super OCD. So potty training is going to be no small feet.

Let me jump in right here and say I am 26 years old and I don't have children for a reason. I barely function as an adult taking care of myself let alone anything else. My poor dogs give me nothing short of a nervous breakdown most weeks. So the idea of children- terrifying.

So my mom's brilliant idea to potty train Lil Miss Sis is to take away her diapers, so that she has to go to the bathroom. This resulted in a lot of screaming, crying and temper tantrums. Also including my mother sayings things like:
"Do you need to go pee-pee in the potty"
"Elmo's sad you didn't go in the potty"
"Is you underwear wet?"
"Pee- Pee in the potty, Pee-Pee in the potty"

Lets just say after the first 3 hours of my mom saying this with my sister either screaming or crying or pitching a fit, I was ready to chop off my own ears. This coupled with countless hours of watching the Backyardigans and Baby Sis crying, screaming or otherwise being a baby was enough to send me into hiding.

By the end of Monday i was ready to get drunk and forget all of this happened. Then Tuesday happened and it was more of the same. Lil Miss Sis peed on her bed (during the day) and pitched a crying fit, peed her pants and screamed and the endless cycle started again. I actually volunteered to run to Wal-mart and pick up stuff just to get out of the house (I wasted 2 hours there). By Tuesday night I was literally lying in my parents bed in the fetal position, rocking back and forth while trying to watch the Proposal and blocking all thoughts of the last 2 days out of my head. This is exactly why i am not ready to have children. I think I've been scared for life.
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