In Defense of Miss America

So the Miss America Pageant was this weekend. Now i have never been a huge pageant fan. I was always the type of girl who would never be caught dead in one, but my best friend (and his whole family) are into pageants so over the years i've started watching them. Even more so because my friend and his family actually run local pageants (they used to at least) and i used to go help them out. So i've seen alot of the behind the scenes workings of pageants and i've come to respect these girls. Miss America is more than just a beauty contest, as opposed to Miss USA which is based solely on how a woman looks. One of EW.Com (one of my favorite websites) writers lambasted the pageant in an article recently and heated discussion ensued.

So why do i defend these girls and an obviously outdated pageant. There are a couple reasons. Yes, the pageant is outdated its 80-something years old, which also makes it a tradition and a part of America nostalgia. Call me old-fashioned but is it wrong to like something that has a rooted history in the American past? Maybe i just wax nostalgic about it because it hearkens back to a society that was not as vapid and shallow. You know when the news didn't update everytime some bimbo socialite changes boyfriends.

Yes, the pageant judges beauty, and i'm not a fan of being judged on what i look like. But it doesn't just judge how pretty these girls are. Miss America is judged on poise, intelligence, public speaking, talent, community service and platform. Each of those girls is expected to have a platform on something they care about (AIDs research, tolerance, etc) and has to be able to speak about it to other people. These girls are expected to do countless hours of community service projects to qualify to compete. And they do it all while going to school, which is pretty time consuming. People railroad their talent but when did singing and dancing not become a talent. It's hard work. I watched some of those girls dance. Let me tell you, a dancer has to train for like 12 -15 years to be on Pointe. Feute turns and triple pirouettes are not easily accomplished, neither is being able to sing opera in key. Think of the time and training it took those girls to learn that stuff before criticizing their talents.

Furthermore, in a society where good role models for women are far and few between criticizing these girls for competing in a pageant is disgraceful. These woman are educated, well-rounded human beings. Think of how hard it must be to get up and speak knowing that millions of people are watching you. I mean i have trouble speaking in front of a class of fellow students. These women are doing so in front of the entire country. These girls aren't posing for playboy, going to clubs without underwear on, there not in rehab, they don't sell sex in music videos. I would much rather have my younger sisters idolizing Miss America than Britney Spears or Lindsey Lohan. These girls actually have relevant social issues they are involved with. They all graduate college. Some of them are going to Medical or Law school. Shouldn't we be raising these women up instead of tearing them down?

Yes, they get judged on how they look, but we all do everyday. These girls have managed to turn that into a way to win scholarship money for college. Sarah Palin got criticized heavily for being "too pretty" in the election. Why can't women be smart and pretty? What is wrong with that? Why do women either have to be smart and ugly or pretty and stupid. These women are smart and pretty and isn't that something we want all women to be? Just because they are beauty queens doesn't make them vapid or shallow, and we should respect them for putting themselves out in the public spotlight to be positive role models for women.

To all the Miss America Haters just think about whether you could get up there and do what they do. I sure couldn't. Can any of you list the countless hour of community service you've done in the last year? Can any of you give a speech on a relevant issue such as cancer research or promoting tolerance in America? Can any of you tap dance, sing, or twirl baton without looking like a complete idiot? Can you walk in heels with poise and grace without looking at your feet every 30 seconds? If you can't shut and respect these women for achieving something in their lives.

Keep Reading >>>

Under the Covers: Wishful Drinking

TITLE: Wishful Drinking
AUTHOR: Carrie Fisher
GENRE: Memoir, Humor, Celebrity
SUMMARY: Fisher has fictionalized her life in several novels (notably Postcards from the Edge), but her first memoir (she calls it a really, really detailed personals ad) proves that truth is stranger than fiction. There are more juicy confessions and outrageously funny observations packed in these honest pages than most celebrity bios twice the length. After describing how she underwent electroshock therapy for her manic depression, Fisher then sorts through her life as her memories return. She predicts that by the end of the book, you'll feel so close to me that you'll want to divorce me. At one point, this daughter of Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher (one an icon, the other an arm piece to icons) hilariously diagrams her family tree of Hollywood marriages and remarriages to make sure her daughter's potential date is not a relative. Revealing that at 15 she got a vibrator for Christmas from her mother, she writes, You might be thinking that a lot of the stories I'm telling you are over the top... but you can't imagine what I'm leaving out. With acerbic precision and brash humor, she writes of struggling with and enjoying aspects of her alcoholism, drug addiction and mental breakdowns. Her razor-sharp observations about celebrity, addiction and sexuality demand to be read aloud to friends.*

ROSE'S REVIEW: I've been meaning to get this review up for awhile but have obviously failed to do so. I got this book as a Christmas present and finished it before the second week in January. This book is hilarious; the reviews on Amazon don't do it justice. Fisher is completely candid about her life and makes fun of it appropriately. Nothing seems to be off-limits in this book except the parts she can't remember due to electroshock therapy. She takes joy in making fun of the strange life she has, complete with stories about her famous mother Debbie Reynolds, and her marriage to Paul Simon. She makes fun of her manic depression and substance abuse problems with considerable ease. According to her if you're gay in American it may be her fault. If you ever wondered what is was like growing up in Hollywood, Fisher has no problem telling you how strange it is. Like how Cary Grant (Fisher's childhood idol) called her twice to talk about her drug problem; Once because her mom requested it, and the second because her dad needed an excuse to talk to Cary Grant at Grace Kelly's wedding (Fisher's father not actually knowing either of them). My only discrepancies with the book is that it is far too short (although probably due to the electroshock therapy), doesn't go in any linear fashion (which works remarkably well, anyways) and she doesn't talk much about Star Wars. The huge star wars nerd in me wanted just a little bit more on what it was like shooting those movies although when she does talk about it, you can understand how surreal it was to wake up one morning and be a huge star (complete with a Pez dispenser). Here is to hoping Fischer writes a sequel.

GRADE: A-

*From Publishers Weekly

Keep Reading >>>

Confession: I Have OCD

So I hate admitting this to people but i find it easier to talk about to complete strangers than i do people i actually know. I have OCD which is Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, which is a mental disorder. Suffers typically have obsessions such as repeated, persistent and unwanted ideas, thoughts, images or impulses that are involuntarily and that seem to make no sense. And compulsions which are repetitive behaviors that a person feels driven to perform. These repetitive behaviors are meant to prevent or reduce anxiety or distress related to their obsessions.*

The most well-known sufferer of OCD is Adrian Monk from the tv show Monk. Monk has a series of phobia in combination with his OCD which makes him act the way he does. I don't like telling people i have OCD because they automatically connect it with Monk and my OCD is completely different. In fact OCD isn't like cancer or alcoholism. Everyone who has OCD suffers from it differently. Some people count things repeatedly or have to do things in a certain order or have to have things lined up perfectly. It affects all of us differently but it typically roots back to issues of anxiety, stress and the need to have control over something.

My case is fairly mild in comparison to some people i have seen. Some have to count the number of steps they take and always end on an even number, or they have to touch every doorknob they pass. I'm pretty lucky in comparison. My OCD is mostly compulsions with a few obsessions sprinkled in. I have one of the more common conditions which is i wash my hands constantly but unlike other sufferers I don't have a fear of germs or contamination. I just need to wash my hands sometimes its because they feel dirty and sometimes its due to stress. Eating things like Cheetos and Chicken wings make me totally crazy and i have to force myself to finish eating before i go to wash my hands although sometimes i lose that battle. The other things are just weird like i have to color-code certain things (my closet, crayon boxes) and I have to fill in the lines when highlight so that it makes a completely filled in box. I need pattern in things. I didn't even realize the pattern thing until a friend made a mention about it a few weeks ago.

I say all of this because its the first week of second semester of Graduate school, and the first week is always stressful for me. I'm having to learn new patterns and that causes me alot of anxiety and then there is the meet new people part. Stress and Anxiety always cause my OCD flair ups. I mean it never really goes away but i know how to avoid things to keep it under control. As i type this my hands are red and raw from all the hand washing I've been doing to compensate for the anxiety I've had, and i hate it. I'm terrified someone is going to look at my hands and ask what happened and I won't want to tell them. I know what I'm doing is irrational and most people just don't understand (my own sister doesn't really get it). Plus I'm embarrassed by it. I think it constitutes a weakness on my part and I don't want people think there is something wrong with me.

Hopefully, next week I'll be more accustomed to my new pattern and i won't stress out about my OCD cause stressing about my OCD causes me more anxiety with causes more OCD. It's just a vicious cycle.
*Info from here

Keep Reading >>>

Why Would Anyone Want to Date Me?

I was out last night for a school thing and there was this guy who kept looking at me, and i got the impression he was checking me out. Now i always find this weird to begin with. I tend to freeze like a deer in the headlights when i think guys are looking at me because i don't know what to do. In fact i prefer that if a guy was going to check me out to be a little less obvious because it makes me uneasy.

Moving on: The whole incident made me wonder why anyone would want to date me. And i realize that kind of statement smacks of insecurity but thats really not my issue. I realize that i am attractive, smart, mildly neurotic but fairly decent person. I'm never going to be a super model but i'm not ugly. And in the past men have been attracted to me. It's just that i don't understand why anyone would want to date. There is absolutely nothing special about me. You can go to any bar and find 3 girls that look or act just like me. So in the grand scheme of things why date me over someone else? I sure other girls wouldn't be totally wrapped in their work, or over-analyze everything. I guess i just don't get my appeal.

Whats worse is that i have no idea when a guy is flirting with me. I am just a hopeless case. I always just assume they are being nice to me because i grew up with a bunch of boys, and they were always nice to me and never wanted to date me. So i suppose all these guys are more of the same. Even now most of my friends are guys and there all nice to me and i don't think any of them would date me either. When i finally got together with one of my ex's, he basically told me he had been flirting with me for like 3 months and i just never caught on. In fact when he finally like asked me out i was in shock. It just never dawned on me that anyone could be interested in me.

I suppose i'm just guy stupid. I can hang out with guys. I can talk sports and poker and motorcycles. But when it comes to dating guys I'm the most clueless girl ever.

Keep Reading >>>

Challenge: TBR 2009

I was looking at books on Amazon earlier today and through a series of events i found the To Be Read Challenge 2009. And because i don't read enough books in grad school already, I thought i'd sign up. So my Book list:

January- Temptation in the Night of Jasmine by Lauren Willig
February- Deja Dead by Kathy Reichs
March-Calamity Jayne by Kathleen Bacus
April- Bright Lights, Big Ass by Jen Lancaster
May- The Sound and the Fury by William Faulkner
June- Catch 22 by Joseph Heller
July- Hood by Stephen Lawhead
August- How I Paid for College: A Novel of Sex, Theft, Friendship & Musical Theater by Marc Acito
September- I was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley
October-She Went All the Way By Meg Cabot
November- Bobbie Faye's Very (very, very, very) Bad Day by Toni McGee Causey
December- Hollywood Girls Club by Maggie Marr


My Alternate List:

1. Death du Jour by Kathy Reich
2. Such a Pretty Fat by Jen Lancaster
3. Pretty in Plaid by Jen Lancaster
4. Calamity Jayne Rides Again by Kathleen Bacus
5. Scarlett by Stephen Lawhead
   

So I'm going to have a lot of books to review in the upcoming months.

Keep Reading >>>

My Dog Dilemma

So I'm living in my first real apartment, and its all mine alone (unless of course my best friend drops out of grad school and moves in with me, which is always a possibility.) The problem is I have never lived without a pet. Growing up my whole life we've had a dog. The earliest dog i remember was a little Scottish terrier my grandparents had when i was five. But my family can tell stories of me with dogs younger than that. I love dogs. In fact i love all fuzzy little creatures. And my family has had alot of them. We've had everything from dogs and cats to prairie dogs and guinea pigs. The only pet i can't manage to keep alive is fish. But i live in an older apartment complex and they allow pets under 20 pounds. Although, that doesn't seem to matter as i have seen Labradors and other assorted larger dogs coming out of apartments.

So having never lived without a pet, i really really want one. I want a dog for multiple reasons mostly just because i want a little fuzzy pet to spoil. The problem is i really shouldn't get one. I'm only in this town for 2 years and then i'm going away to another school for my PHD. So i would have to find an apartment complex where ever i end up that allows pets. I have a very hectic schedule and fitting a dog into that just makes it that much more hectic. On top of that i like to go out of town for a couple days every so often just to visit friends and such, and i would have to find someone to take care of my pet. But none of that stopped me from going to the animal shelter today. I refuse to buy a purebreed anything for 200-1000 dollars, when i can go to the pound and get some poor defenseless pet that needs love. The problem is all the dogs there were too big. Even the smaller ones were bigger than a beagle, which is the biggest dog i would want in my apartment. I want something tiny like a terrier, but not a chihuaha (cause those dogs are creepy). And i don't really want a puppy either because you have to train them and thats a pain in the ass. Hopefully i will find a dog soon, or talk myself out of it again.

The pet search continues......

Keep Reading >>>

Confession: I'm a Tattoo Addict

I have a self-proclaimed Tattoo addiction. I love them. I had never seriously considered getting a tattoo until freshman year of undergrad. I had a roommate who wanted one and she rubbed off and made me want one too. I told my parents, who are the cool non-judgmental type, and they actually took us to get them. My stepdad has like 6 tattoos and my mom decided to get one upon hearing that i wanted to get one (she always beats me to the punch). So we went and i got my first one.

Now i get tattoos for a reason. I don't get them just because they look pretty, even though they do. I get them as a personal reminder to myself of something i don't want to forget. My tattoos are symbolic in a sense. My first tattoo was of a rose (pictured above). I realize that a million women have tattoos of a rose and i was hardly being original. But Rose is also my middle name. So I chose the rose as a symbolic act of remembering to be true to myself and who i am and where i come from.

Less than a year later I was back in the tattoo parlor picking out my second. There is this saying about tattoos being addictive and it's totally true. Once the shock wears off it doesn't actually hurt all that much. It sort of tickles and it becomes like an adrenaline thing. So I got my second tattoo (pictured left) of a moon and stars. Again i know not that most original tattoo ever invented. Stars are an incredibly generic tattoo to get. But i got them as a symbol of my dreams. There is a quote by Teddy Roosevelt that says

"Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground."

I interpret that quote to mean keep a level head as you go after your dreams even if everyone else doesn't understand. It's a symbolic idea for the little girl in me who never gave up on her dreams even when everyone else said it couldn't be done. There are still people telling me it can't be done and I'm still doing them.


Which brings me to the new tattoo I'm debating. It's been almost 5 years since i got my last tattoo. I've always wanted another one i just hadn't found what i wanted or where i wanted it. I always knew what i wanted it to symbolize. I wanted it to symbolize hope and faith. I've been mulling with it for years and it has gone through various incarnations from everything from a butterfly to a tribal design to what i think is going to be my final decision a phoenix (pictured right). I sort of saw the design and fell in love. It fits perfectly with the ideas of hope and faith. Even though a phoenix dies and burns from its ashes rises a new phoenix. So it reminds me to have hope that even when things are the darkest i will get through it. And it reminds me have faith in myself because no matter how many times i get knocked down i'm always going to rise again.

The problem is now i don't know where to get it. The most likely places are my inner right ankle or my hip. I love my tattoos but i believe they should be hidden at just about all times. I don't want future employment to not hire me based on my tattoos. The two i have currently are not seen unless i'm in a bikini. People who have known me forever have never even seen them. I like my ankle but i worry about skirts or heels. I like my hip but i'm wondering if that will look funny since one of my tattoos is on my lower bikini line. On top of that i haven't decided if i want to do the tattoo in color (because the colors are awesome) or in Black. With my other two tattoos being in color i wanted my third one to be a little less girly. Thoughts, comments, ideas are appreciated.

Keep Reading >>>