Monday, February 9, 2009

The Scarlett O'Hara Complex

So I've been meaning to put this blog up forever and i've never found the appropriate time for it. I my not very long life i have come across what i consider to be the "Scarlett O'Hara complex." Most recently i have seen men with it, but trust me it is gender neutral. If you have never seen Gone with the Wind I suggest you go rent it. It is a fabulous movie but very long, so i suggest plotting out a day for it. I suggest if you don't want to be spoiled on the plot you stop reading now.

Okay, So in the beginning of the movie pampered, privileged Scarlett O'Hara finds out that the man she secretly is in love with, Ashley Wilkes, is going to marry someone else. Scarlett goes to Ashley and professes her love and he claims to love her in return but is going to marry Melanie anyways. Rhett Bulter witnesses the exchange, and tells Scarlett her secret is safe with him. The Civil War happens and Ashley and Rhett are off to war. During this time Scarlett becomes friends with Melanie. Rhett shows up at a ball and dances with Scarlett and tells her that he is going to win her heart, which Scarlett says will never happen. A series of things happen, and Scarlett marries Rhett (mostly for his money). All the time Scarlett is throwing herself at Ashely behind Melanie's back. Scarlett gets pregnant twice by Rhett although both children end up dying. At the end of the movie Melanie dies and tells Scarlett to take care of Ashely the way Scarlett always took care of her (Melanie). Scarlett then watches Ashley break down at the death of his wife and realizes that Ashley never loved her at all, and that Scarlett had loved something that had never really existed. She realizes she loved Rhett all along and she runs home to tell him, only to find him packing his bags to leave. Rhett tells her she can be with her Ashley and that he is done with her. Which is where the famous, "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn" line comes in.

So what is the Scarlett O'Hara complex? It's falling in love with a person and a relationship that doesn't really exist while the person you are supposed to be with is right in front of your face. I've seen people do it dozens of times. I've done it myself, its an easy thing to do. You get so wrapped up with this one person and you fool yourself into thinking if i could just get them everything would be perfect. You end up falling in love with the idea of being in love with that person when in reality you barely know them.

The worst part is being the Rhett in that equation, because you end up waiting for them to realize that they are supposed to be with you. But by the time they do it's too late. You've exhausted too much time and energy that you don't even want them anymore. But love is funny that way right?


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