Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Forgetting Who You Are

So over the weekend i went out to my alma-mater to visit family and friends. Saturday night i ended up at a party with a bunch of friends i haven't seen in like a year (some longer than that). But the minute i walked through the door and a couple of them promptly freaked out that i was there (it's been along time), it was like nothing had ever changed. It's amazing how easy it is to fall back into familiar patterns. I mean K* was yelling at me, I was telling D* not to be a smart ass.

It was like i had never left at all. Okay, thats not entirely true. Before i was the lone adult with these crazy teenage guys and now were all like adults. So thats different. It's weird to think of them in that light because they have always been like my little brothers and now they are like you know adults. Either way It was exactly what i needed. I have been so stressed out with graduate school and i stopped having fun. I think i forgot what it was like to have fun. These guys just made me forget all the crap i've been stressed about. They know me as me, not me as in crazy-stressed out about grades-going to kill someone me.

Its weird but each incarnation of me is different. The people who knew me in High School know me as one person. The people from Undergrad know me as another and the people in Grad School know me as a third. The thing is all three variations are all me. They are just all me at different points in my life with different people. My Undergrad friends are nothing like my Grad School friends, so each group sees a different side of me. Somewhere along the line in Grad School i had forgotten about the Undergrad me. That girl was pretty fucking awesome (although totally a bitch). So I just needed a reminder of who i am and why i had so much fun back then. If that makes sense at all.

*Names have been deleted to protect the guilty and stupid
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