Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Why Would Anyone Want to Date Me?

I was out last night for a school thing and there was this guy who kept looking at me, and i got the impression he was checking me out. Now i always find this weird to begin with. I tend to freeze like a deer in the headlights when i think guys are looking at me because i don't know what to do. In fact i prefer that if a guy was going to check me out to be a little less obvious because it makes me uneasy.

Moving on: The whole incident made me wonder why anyone would want to date me. And i realize that kind of statement smacks of insecurity but thats really not my issue. I realize that i am attractive, smart, mildly neurotic but fairly decent person. I'm never going to be a super model but i'm not ugly. And in the past men have been attracted to me. It's just that i don't understand why anyone would want to date. There is absolutely nothing special about me. You can go to any bar and find 3 girls that look or act just like me. So in the grand scheme of things why date me over someone else? I sure other girls wouldn't be totally wrapped in their work, or over-analyze everything. I guess i just don't get my appeal.

Whats worse is that i have no idea when a guy is flirting with me. I am just a hopeless case. I always just assume they are being nice to me because i grew up with a bunch of boys, and they were always nice to me and never wanted to date me. So i suppose all these guys are more of the same. Even now most of my friends are guys and there all nice to me and i don't think any of them would date me either. When i finally got together with one of my ex's, he basically told me he had been flirting with me for like 3 months and i just never caught on. In fact when he finally like asked me out i was in shock. It just never dawned on me that anyone could be interested in me.

I suppose i'm just guy stupid. I can hang out with guys. I can talk sports and poker and motorcycles. But when it comes to dating guys I'm the most clueless girl ever.

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