Tuesday, May 27, 2008

The Carrie/Big Dilemma

Any Female who hasn't been living in a closet the last 10 years has probably caught an episode of Sex and the City. Besides the dynamic of four females in their 30's living and dating in New York City, the next biggest plot of that show was the relationship between Carrie and Mr. Big. Carrie have this on again/ off again relationship. Mr. Big had a fear of commitment and intimacy and Carrie knowing this, is still unable to give him up. They go through a carousel of problems. He decides to move to Paris without telling her. He comes back without telling her. He gets married and then has an affair with Carrie. He divorces his wife and then moves to Napa, California, but still manages to find ways to see Carrie. Carrie, for her own issues, takes him back every time ruining her relationship with good boy Aidan. But by the end of the series Mr. Big realizes that Carrie is the one and chases her to Paris to tell her that. After seven seasons, he finally realizes that he can't be without her. It's the perfect happy ending because everyone knew that Carrie was meant to be with Mr. Big.

For a TV show, it's the perfect love story. But what happens when you fall into the Carrie/Big dilemma in real life? What do you do when your in love with someone who is unwilling to commit to you but you can't give them up? Stupid girl that i am, I've been doing it for years. Frat Boy, as he will be referred to, and I have been playing this silly game off and on for 4 years. He's unwilling to commit to me but is more than content to sleep with me when readily available. For 4 years i have tried to move past him. I dated Accountant guy, there was that lapse of judgment with Pretty boy, Tattoo guy and most recently i was after Redsox Fan. But at the end of the day, i end up right back where i started with Frat boy. I like to tell myself its because none of these other guys stuck. But even i know thats not true, because if Frat boy had called I'd have gone running.

Graduate school is rapidly approaching and somehow it has turned into being about Frat Boy. Or at least trying to get over Frat boy, because if anything is going to work it's going to be finding someone new. My problem lies in TV. If it could work out for Carrie and Mr. Big, could it work out with me and Frat boy? or am i just letting the TV fool me?

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